2005
2004-12-31 11:41 a.m.
I suppose it�s time for a year in review, but considering I review myself at least 3 times a day, putting a whole year in won�t do it any justice. What I can say is that it�s been damned good year. The first year in the past few that I could really be myself�All financial debts got paid. The first year in a few that I didn�t have to worry about money. No that I was rich, but there was always enough there that it wasn�t at the top of my head. And hence, I had a lot more sex this year. I drank a lil too much this year and smoked about as much as I expected. I�ve met some incredible people this year and tied some loose ends with old friends.
I got a lot closer to my parents, and I figured out how to deal with my father�s occasional drunk dials. It seems if you make it into his tight circle, you end up on the drunk dial list. At least he got used to me calling him an asshole, and we can laugh about it. I�m looking forward to learning from him and I�m hoping he learns from me.
I cooked a lot more this year, and I�m hoping to get a kitchen larger than the size of a closet when I move. Speaking of which, I made the ILLEST tortilla soup last night. I�ve been a bit spoiled in the cooking thing. I enjoy it because it�s one of the few things I can do around here that doesn�t involve computers and screens. Of course I�m a huge fan of my own cooking, and after four years I have NO IDEA what my girl actually eats, so it�s hard to get reliable criticism. So all my cooking ego is sure to be shot to shit when I finally have other people to cook for. I�m looking forward to it.
And in these last couple months, a lot of my conversations have found a common theme. Relationships. And not just because of my own. I tend not to bring mine up unless the conversation heads that way. S in LA just broke with her fianc� (for good, according to her) because she likes to go out and he doesn�t. A has a similar situation but is comfortable with it. V, who was just in town from Miami was speaking of a similar situation, but more regarding allowing a woman to do more than cook and clean without the man feeling insecure. R in Chicago had a similar gripe. And it�s one of the leading factors in the demise of my own relationship. I go out a LOT and my girl doesn�t, at all.
Other than that� I�m respected in my profession, which has been a goal of mine since childhood. Of course, back then I wanted my profession to be master turntablist.
As pointed out to me once before, whatever path you choose is the right one; I don�t necessarily agree. It�s the path you choose, and it�s the path you will be on, but that doesn�t make it the path you �should� be on. Choosing to be beaten by your spouse or choosing to be locked into a drug coma or choosing to get shot in a bad transaction were all bumps in the trail for people I know this year.
These things blind you from the horizon. You get too caught up looking at the trail hoping not to trip again to realize there are mountains ahead of you that you have yet to decide to climb or go around. And once the mountain is reached, you curl into a ball and prepare to end your journey. I see greatness in every person. Every. Last. One. To watch someone you hold in high regard crumble under the fear of what lies ahead is to watch someone die slowly. Their chosen path is fear of life, and I have a hard time seeing that path as the right path for anyone.
Hopefully I can motivate and inspire those closest to me to keep them off their death beds�
For this year and the coming years, I plan to travel more, enjoy living in LA, close a few more gaps with people I haven�t seen or talked to in 8+ years, make a lot more good friends, have more women in my life (as friends, as I�ll probably be celibate this year like I was my first year in NY) , do a lot more good business, ensure the financial stability of my parents, ensure the financial stability of my future children, cook for small groups, work on a couple of my OWN projects this year, draw more and hopefully write more, look better naked, look better clothed, turn tables more, and continue enjoying every day regardless of what that entails.
These aren�t resolutions. These are the things I�ve wanted for years, and I try to inch towards them every day. Just a summary of the things on my mind when I�m not really saying much. Things I figure out while cooking.
Happy New Year, and I hope you have an Incredible 2005.