5 Degrees in Chicago
2004-12-20 6:17 p.m.
Considering I couldn�t see 3 inches in front of me, there was little to think about besides the death trap I was in. While standing completely naked in the dark trying to carry on, I�d finally realized how fucked up this really was.The light switch is fucked. You have to get it to stop just before being at 100% �on�. If it makes it to the end the light cuts off. So you get it most of the way, balance it out, then take care of business hoping it stays put, which it generally doesn�t. And this is a basement apartment with no windows in the bathroom. So we�re talking engulfing darkness.
The drain�s fucked so I was standing in about 6 inches of water. The walls are slimy, partially due to this being a basement, as well as the condition of the shower. The faulty light switch has an outlet on it, which is currently holding a 3 way extension. Of course, the switch is just beyond reach, so you have to lean on the slimy wall to reach it.
It was the third time the light went out, and I was getting frustrated. I pushed the curtain aside, ready to make the move again and the thought came to mind�
It�s probably a really bad idea to stand in 6 inches of water with the shower running while leaning on a slippery wall across the bathroom in the dark while reaching my pruny dripping hand for a faulty light switch with 2 open sockets waiting for something to ground them.
I actually found the rest of my shower in the dark to be very comfortable. Strange experience, but better.
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I couldn�t believe how gorgeous she was. The bar was PACKED shoulder to shoulder and she�s far more amazing than I�d remembered her. A fine bartender in a room full of drunks is a hot commodity, so getting a full 40 second stare while she dug through the mental crates was torturous. For all I knew that bottle in her hand was about to make its way at my head.
Impossible to believe she has a child now besides the tamer and less selfish eyes of motherhood giving her away. I�d fallen in love with her again at first glance and I had a good amount of time until the moment she realized I was a 50 lb heavier version of one of the ghosts from her stoned past. Practically another life for both of us.
We met for the second or third time ever on the Diversey rocks (lake front) amongst 20 of our mutual friends. We were probably 14 or 15 at the time. We ended up sharing a train home and hit it off a bit. Not much happened, kinda sorta, but I was lost in her. Things could never have worked with us� to damned different. Didn�t matter anyways, a week later I found out she was my boy�s lady.
But we all stayed cool. My boy gave me a mouth shot and we had drinks later that night. And she was at my house almost every day for the next few years as really close friends. After getting completely stoned and drunk together every day for about 3 or 4 years we went our separate ways. I moved to the south side and since my house wasn�t the central meeting place anymore everyone kinda dispersed.
Years later she emailed to tell me she was going to be a mother. My response sucked due to plenty of stupid shit in my head at the time (a couple years back) and we hadn�t talked since. I�ve been uneasy since that day and to have her smile when she finally recognized me made my whole world a better place to be in.
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I�ve known P since the third grade, so it�s always great to hear from him. Even though we haven�t seen each other in person in about 4 years I try to call him every time I�m in town.
�What up man.. I�m in town for the weekend� we should get up�
"Definitely. Hey M's little brother is having a party tonight. M and W and M and N are all gonna be there. You should come!"
"I dunno man, things ended pretty fucked up with me and M years back"
"What? What happened??? Oh yeah, something about you and his girl hooking up�"
"And his girl!?! Na man, I was referring to that Halloween when I brought a piece to his place and his dad found it, then whooped the shit out of me in front of the house."
"Oh yeah!! I�m sure that's all water under the bridge, dude"
"Hmm.. Alright man, lemme see what I can do"
"You should really come"
"Yeah, I'd like to man... Well, regardless, we should hook up on Sunday"
"Definitely."
It�s bad enough that the last time I saw dude, I was apologizing to his family for bringing a gun to their house. He got grounded for a few months and I went throwing mad parties and wilin out. Now it turns out that he thinks I was trying to get down with his girl back then, who now happens to be his wife and mother of his three kids.
I wanted to smooth some snags of my past on this trip, but that�s a bit too much to smooth over for the moment. Especially in front of a bunch of heads I haven�t talked to in years who I�m SURE have all kinds of fun versions of opinions on me. Na man, this is something to do one on one. I have a past to clear with half those people mentioned and this time wasn�t THE time.
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The one night I�m sober in about 2 weeks it seems that everyone else on the planet is fucked up. I suppose it�s a matter of balance, but regardless, what the fuck. Moms was all wasted and emotional. Dad was all wasted and rather tame, and pretty funny.
It was like 5 degrees outside, mad icy and I needed a straight head. That and after getting completely depressed by dear ol mom for a few hours, I needed to be sober.
After dinner, I went by J to drop off a bear for her kid. Shoulder to shoulder with a mess of drunks again.
Got a couple drunk dials from old friends who couldn�t make it out for the night. Get to P�s new apartments and they�re all stoned off of the 2 b�s they killed before I got there. And I showed up with another box of b�s and a 12 of heinekin. 2 more b�s went into the air while I won everybody�s loot on a few lucky hands of poker.
B passed out on the table and P decided to bring it back to the old days with a few sharpies. It was fun for a second while me and G started playing tic-tac-toe on his arm and P wrote �Biiaattch� on his upper arm. I went to grab a beer and when I got back, P just finished drawing a horrible rendition of a cock and balls on the back of B�s neck.
That was just wrong. I was about to say something but then got an absolutely hysterical call from 2 of he cutest lil drunks on the East coast. It turns out that not only was every person in Chicago who wasn�t me completely wasted, but such was the case in NY as well. By then I may as well have been completely fucked as I had no idea what was going on anywhere. All giggles on the phone, all kinds of laughing and yelling in front of me and none of it made any sense.
I stepped out to try to figure shit out. It seemed I would never figure out the phone call � though I was still trying� I wandered back in to see P coloring B�s entire neck with a Magnum 44 (fat tip marker that graff writers use).
�damn P that�s fucked up!!�
�I know bro.. I know.�
Giggles on the phone, all kinds of animosity. Why did I have to be sober tonight?
I got hung up on, although probably just by a cell phone cut off or something� I tried calling the girls back when I got to G�s. I really wanted to talk to them but it seems they were done with the phone or at least with my phone for the night. So I sat in the car for a bit to think over the weekend. I had to sit in the car since G gets NO reception in his apartment�
Too sober to think� after 15 minutes I went in to kill off the last glass of Johnny Black in the bottle. Half way through the glass I got all depressed and stupid so I dumped it and crashed.
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�Hello?�
�K?�
�Um, yeah?�
�Hey, It�s (me)! How are you?�
�Holy shit! Hey! I�m um.. ok.. How are you?�
�I�m good. I�m good. Hey, if I remember correctly� today is your birthday.�
� �Oh my god, you remember?!?! How the hell do you remember?�
�Well, you WERE my woman at one point, you know�
�Yeah but that was like 12 years ago�
�Bah, might as well have been last week. You doing anything tonight?�
�Nooo� I�m in tonight. Too much to do.�
�Aww, I figured you�d be all out tonight. I�d come and get you but I�m actually looking for parking right now so I can have dinner with my parents.�
�It�s cool, I wanna be in tonight�
� general haven�t-talked-in-a-couple-years-small-talk �
�So what are you now, like 35?�
�Oh please, you know you�re older than me, you old man.�
�Hey, hey� just a month lil girl�"
"Closer to 6 weeks!!"
"damn K... down to the weeks, huh?"
"Oh hush up"
"Well, love. I gotta get back to paying attention to finding a parking spot. The streets are iced over and I�m gonna slide into something. Tell your mom I said hello.�
�Well, she went to the Philippeans to see some family, but when I talk to her next I�ll tell her. She�ll love to hear that you called.�
�Ok K� I�ll have a drink for you tonight��
�Hey� Um� thanks for calling. It was getting pretty quiet here.�
�Well, if you haven�t figured out you can call me any time anywhere 24/7 by now, I guess you never will.�
�Yeah I know I know� I mean it though. Thanks so much�
"when did YOU get so dramatic? I�ll talk to you soon.�
�Good night�