Lost Wages
2004-07-24 4:08 p.m.
Vegas� Vegas� Vegas� Ahhh Vegas.My flight there was terrible. I�d just waken out of a hangover and about 90 minutes of sleep. Threw on my shit, packed my carry-ons (who needs luggage for 3 days?), said fuck the AirTrain and caught a car (nice taxi).
Nothing was open in the Delta JFK terminal besides starfucks and duty free shops, and who the hell wants to be awake for a 5 hour flight. So I ask the desk to move my seat to something with legroom. She was shaking her head until she finally looked up and saw I was 6 and a half feet tall. �Let me see what I can do�. So far so good.
We board, my seat is changed at the gate, Exit row... nice. I get to the exit row� It�s the same damned size as any other row. Essentially there are NO seats for tall fold on this plane. And the width of the seat is definitely less than any other plane I�ve been on. Fuck it.. 5 hours... try to sleep. Of course Mr. 400 lbs had to have the seat next to me.
I wasn�t fighting for the arm rest. His side fat had them on complete lock. Fuck it� Passed out for 1 HOUR. That was it. I was aWAKE. Did some work, read for a bit and just dealt with the shit.
Got to Vegas, grabbed a Monte Carlo from Alamo, hooked up my Ipod, opened the windows and bumped Sinatra all the way to the other side of the strip to Circus Circus. The lights were long so I got quite a bit of attention singing along with Frankie at the top of my lungs with it blaring while waiting for a green at every intersection. Some people even sang along.
Last time I�d been down this strip I was shroomed the fuck out on about a � bag of mushrooms and pretty stoned from a couple joints of good ol� Cali greens. IT was bugged to see it all sober. At least my hangover was finally gone.
Valet parked, had the bellhop take one of my carry-ons up, just because I could, checked in and passed out for about another hour. Called my cousin, E and it was time to get nuts. We switched between gambling (you get free drinks when you gamble, btw), and going upstairs to give E�s wife, L, a break while we watched their adorable 2 year old.
Within a few hours, E and L�s friends showed up. See, E�s friends are my original bad influence. Back when I was about 10 or 11 and dealing with our home issues very badly (aka lil cry baby), these are the guys who introduced me to getting into some serious shit. By the time I was 12 I had my first 40 oz with these guys, smoked my first blunt and got into a shitload of trouble for all sorts of really stupid shit.
I hadn�t seen them in at least 10 years. So they were my original bad influence. Back when I was about 10 or 11 and dealing with my home issues very badly (aka lil cry baby), these are the guys who introduced me to getting into some serious shit. By the time I was 12 I had my first 40 oz with these guys, smoked my first blunt and got into a shitload of trouble for all sorts of really stupid shit. (They�re all about 3 � 4 years older than me).
So we went down to gamble for a bit. I went up with E to give L a break and the three of them went for a walk to find some smoke. An hour or so later, they come back with that look in their eye, so we head up to my room. The empty the bag with what turns out to be some crumpled up newspaper and this weird hard green shit on a stick.
The paper, believe it or not, looked like some REALLY good hairy shit. No bullshitting, we�re looking at it like �damn, that really does look real.� It did. It looked like that shit you see in the high times centerfold. And not just me, these are all potheads, one guy in particular who�d been in to many things faaar over his head (all he does is smoke pot now), he also thought it looked real. Of course I was talking shit and my cousin unraveled it to show there was print on it and everything.
So we all went for a walk this time. We grabbed a cab to the other end of the strip and went for a walk. Obviously it�s better to hit the neighborhoods, but none of us know the neighborhoods and we figured somebody�s gotta be putting out some halfway decent shit out here. So while on our walk some kid tries to play shoulders with one of the guys, when he swoops away the guy tries to get crazy.
Fuckhead: �You got a problem?�
Me: �What?�
Fuckhead: [raising his hands and being retarded] �You got a problem�
My Cousin: �Yo man, I think you might be a little outnumbered
Me: �You�re about to look really stupid�
Friend: �Where you from?�
Fuckhead: �Sin City, Bitch!!�
Friend: �A local? Just walk away� You�re dealing with Chicago and NY right here..�
So, like a retard, fuckheads pushes the darkest man of the 5 of us out his way so he can try to get down. Now the fact that he�s the darkest out of us matter because of this. HE happened to be talking to two crips at the time trying to score some smoke. Now the crips weren�t happy to see this lil white boy getting hard and pushing black folk around.
Big man in blue: �Oh, and now you�re dealing with Compton too little man. You like to push niggas around when you ain�t happy?�
Fuckhead gets on some, oh I�m not dealing with you, I�m dealing with, and he points way past us, oh, I guess they�re gone.
Other friend: �Nope, we�re right here�
Fuckhead: �Aiight man, my bad, I didn�t realize what I was doing, blah blah�
10 minutes later we stumbled onto a bag from these 2 cats in front of 711. 5 minutes later we walked up to this guy who was trying REALLY hard to be a pimp. Corny old black dude with too much fake gold and a really silly suit. Well, it turns out this is the cat these guys bought the newspaper from. I almost lost it. So we all happened to be surrounding this cat as R. politely asked for his money back. All�s forgiven.
The night went on to some gambling and such, stumbled out for McGriddles at 8 am and went our way to our hotels. I knocked out for about 2 hours, then a bunch of people from NY (clients and friends) started calling. 3 hours difference kicking me in the ass. I picked up all of them, found out if it was important, then politely hung up. Started falling asleep again and housekeeping called. Hung up� called right back. Told them to clean up in 4 hours. I was up, now.
A lil more gambling, and then got ready for my cousin�s wedding at 5. It was at the Little White Chapel, which is the same place Jordan and Brittany Spears and a whole bunch of other big weddings were. The ceremony was surprisingly VERY nice. The priest guy was on point, and the vows given were perfect. E and L�s son was pretty well behaved. Overall, perfect.
We went on to dinner at the Paris, which is a DOPE hotel/casino. Outside there�s the Eiffel tower which has it�s base going right through the casino. The shopping area, I�m told, looks exactly like a block in Paris. I hope to go and find out fro my self later this year. Regardless, it was gorgeous. We went to the restaurant up front, about 20 deep. A lot of L�s family was there (her mom, brother, aunt, etc). Our uncle and aunt showed, but they were more there for the gambling than anything. Everyone else couldn�t really make it since the whole family had spent the previous week in Ohio.
Dinner was perfect. Now it was my turn to lead the night. I wasn�t down for another ghetto ass evening on the prowl for some smoke. Wasn�t having it. I checked my account and found that 3 checks I�d been awaiting for the past 2 - 3 months cleared. At that moment I had more in my checking account than I�d ever had. Ever.
Perfect. I went to grab 7 Montechristos (really good cigars, at about $17 a piece there). I rounded up all the friends and L�s brother and we headed over to the Bellagio (I believe it�s the richest and seems to be the classiest casino on the strip). We found the main bar there with live music and a front-seat view of the water show they had out front every half hour. I ordered a round of some Courvoisier Napol�on (somewhere around $22 a glass and I mean a few sips worth, a lil less than a shot) and we sat back. This is what I came on the trip for: an elegant evening with my closest cousin, his lovely wife, his brother, and their best friends. I looked at my cousin�s face for a moment and felt at home. An absolute rarity� at HOME.
After another round of expensive drink, we all went back to the cheap side of the strip for some gambling. We smoked a blunt and went wandering. Drank some more, gambled some more. By now I was far too exhausted, drunk and stoned to bear it anymore. I couldn�t take the bells anymore, the slot machines dinging and blinging and clanging, the dealers shouting hands, the enormous hum of conversation about nothing.
I went for a walk. The monologue by Hunter Thompson in Fear and Loathing was echoing through my head. Who are these Faces� Humping the American Dream� Looking like used car salesmen� I was done. I think I�d hoped to prolong that moment in the Bellagio a bit longer. I went to buy some smokes, and in my twisted state ended up pouring half the beer I�d forgot I�d been holding all over the counter.
All the noise in my head stopped suddenly. I was sober for a moment. I looked the guy dead in the eye in complete sobriety.
�Man, I am fucked up, and I am sorry. That was really bad. I apologize. Please give me a paper towel or something and allow me to clean this up. Please.�
He shrugged it off and smiled. �Don�t worry about it� Thank you for the concern.� I paid an extra couple bucks for the smokes and went on my way, re-twisting as I made my way to my room. By now the paranoia set in a bit. Maybe that officer who walked the hall every few hours smelled the weed emanating from my room. Maybe he�d be there waiting for me. Fuck it, accept your fate and take out your contacts before you get locked up.
Opened the door and I was hit in the face with a cloud of that harsh fucking dope. I wasn�t gonna smoke that shit anymore. Too fucking harsh on the throat. Shit, I�d rather NY regs over that shit, and that�s saying a LOT. Changed my contacts out and took off my new Banana Republic shirt. First one I�d ever bought and the first time I�d ever worn it. I sobered up a bit and went back down to the casino everyone was in.
By that point everyone looked tired and done. �Where have you been?� �Just went to sober up a bit and take out my contacts� �Changed your shirt too, huh?� �You noticed.�
We all crashed early that night. I took my phone off the hook and turned off my cell. I woke up at 12 and called E. They we re about to go to breakfast. I needed a damned shower. A half hour later they were almost done with breakfast. I went and got my own and started wandering.
It had been about 112 degrees out at the time: the average temperature of the whole trip. It was probably a bad idea for me to walk around with a beer in this weather. So I kept the beer and grabbed a bottle of water. By this point I�d been either drunk or driving (and a few times both for very short distances) for over 2 weeks. I was twisted and done. I went to try to win a bit more.
Throughout the trip I�d been gambling. I tried blackjack and roulette for a bit but either lost or broke even. But on video poker, I pretty much made about $500 total. After my first $100 on day one, I kept going back. Day two, I made $40 (day of the wedding). Last day, about $320. Of course I�d lost some here and there on slots and tables, but overall, I did well.
After my cousin took his people to the airport, we hooked up for one last pitcher of margaritas. E., L., their son and I went to Margaritaville. We ordered a couple rounds and some food. We talked about the whole trip. There was no chance of my buying a card here and writing something nice. But we had this moment before we dispersed. I handed my cousin $300 as a wedding gift and told him how proud I was of him for finally growing the fuck up. I told L how great I thought she was and how much I loved their son. They both came around to give me a hug. I ordered another round and took the kid to see the huge volcano in the restaurant.
We went to the hotel, grabbed my car, filled them up and headed to the airport. I guess when we were at the gas station their son started shouting my name. It�s always a good feeling when they learn your name.
The flight home was great. I spent an hour in the bar since the flight was delayed and met a few of the other people on my flight. An adorable Filipino girl (about 25 or so) married to this 35 year old corny dude. An old bald guy who worked in theater on the strip. Two other guys who talked about sports a little more than I cared for. Good way to start the trip. Onto the plane - 1 empty seat between myself and a nice older lady. They dimmed the lights, I put on my R&B shit for the flight and passed right out. I woke a few times, but slept through most of the flight.
Switched planes in Washington to one of those lil puddle jumpers with 40 or so seats. I had two seats to myself and was sitting pretty. A mother with her few month old baby had been one seat up and across the aisle from me. Some old Russian fuck comes up, reaches over the girl, puts his bag under the seat and tries to squeeze past her and the baby. He�s practically sitting on the baby as he squeezes through.
For some reason she stayed humble, but her eyes were screaming. I switched with her. It was an uncomfortable seat next to the old guy but I didn�t mind at all. I was happy to know that the mother was good.
That�s it. No ending. Just a great trip.