Lovers and Fighters

2005-08-30 9:40 p.m.
I never quite know how to react in a disrespectful situation these days. Sure, years ago, if it even SEEMED like someone had some sort of obtuse thought towards me, I�d little issue introducing him to the floor. Sometimes I won, sometimes I lost, but I held shit down�

I calmed that down by the time I was 17 or 18. I�d quit completely by the time I was 20. I haven�t thrown down since I was 22 or so.

So what does one do when confronted in a silly situation? I mean, sure, some situations require one to swing long before the retard realizes his motivation to say something stupid was of poor taste. But in day-to-day, how does a grown man who�s done throwing down handle an ignorant motha fucker.

I don�t end up in silly situations very often. There�s the occasional shit talker at an occasional bar, but those are generally really easy to diffuse. A friendly grin, a firm grip on the shoulder, possibly even a free drink and the night goes on pleasantly. And yes, a little class and a $7 drink is far more valuable to me than showing off my ability to hurt someone. Shit, I quit �proving� myself so long ago; I can hardly remember what it was that I was proving and who I was proving it to.

So, when in a situation� say� walking to the restaurant with a female friend. And some no-class, disrespectful, ignorant motha fucker decides to holler at the girl you�re walking with, what exactly do you do? I�m not talking about groping and shit, fuck that, he�s going through a window. I�m talking about a dude stopping his damned car and acting like you ain�t there.

I mean sure, there�s instinct. Though my instincts in such matters are rusty, they still come quick. I�m just grown enough to ignore them at first.

First instinct � A solid kick in the nuts and an elbow to the nose will put anything down. To humiliate, grab his nuts and squeeze, then lay a knuckled backhand on him� Dirty you say? There is no dirty when throwing down.

Second Instinct � People shoot now. People who you would NEVER expect to be capable of shooting. Yes, I know people who shoot. Yes, I�ve seen people shoot.

And so, numb to direct instinct (as long as the nerves are at bay), the thoughts kick in. �I haven�t fought in years. I could give a shit about losing a fight, but what shitty way to end a good conversation or a good walk or a good lunch or whatever the fuck��

So, in the end, I tend to ignore the bastard in hopes that he doesn�t persist � in hopes that we can continue without second thought to the loser. Luckily the women I generally hold company with are willing to politely turn them down and we walk on. A very sweet thing to do, though regardless of this rant, still emasculating. No less, I�ll take the pride hit if just to keep the conversation going. I�m not scared to throw, I just really don�t fucking want to. I�m too god damned old to throw with some shithead I don�t know because he feels he�s got shit to prove.

But what about that day he persists? How the fuck do I keep to my class and dismantle the situation? Normal head to head shit in a bar is nothing � or at least taken care of quickly with a bottle or a bar stool, but when a woman�s involved, the motives change and pride can be a motha fucker.

I suppose the best option is to take his ass out, but man, I�d really just rather not. I feel no reason to beat the hell out of some shlub to prove I have a large cock. I�d rather just please the woman.

Such is the return to lover from fighter.