If Only
2009-06-30 2:30 a.m.
I wish I could forget like i'd once been able. To blow off passion for coincidence. To brush the dust of memory off of my young shoulder and dive into another creative endeavor as if it were worth the breaths taken between every stroke. But these lonely walls grow more bare as the cracks reveal themselves beneath the faded paint meant to conceal their age. Any remaining color fades beneath the scorching sun heating the sands of my own personal desert. I wish I could say I've lost my way, but I'd have to be arrogant enough to say I'd found it at some point. I've always remained confident within the ideal that we're all wandering. While I'm still sure of that fact, I'm not so sure of that confidence. I wish moments were worth far less to me, though I'm unwilling to distance myself from myself. If only it were as easy as everyone else seems to make it. If only I could be comfortably numb. Although the opposite isn't all that comfortable today either.