Comfortably Numb
2005-03-01 2:36 p.m.
�Look, I know and understand that you need more emotion from me. But if I begin to consider how I feel about all of this, I�m going to be a worthless miserable whimpering ball of goo. I�m not gonna get any work done, It�s gonna suck to be around me, so my friends will find better things to do and I�m gonna depress the shit out of you even more, so then I�ll be depressed with no money, no friends and a girlfriend who�s mad at me. I won�t get anything done. I won�t get packed. I�ll never figure out how I�m getting across the country and I�ll be stuck here. And by then, I�ll be such a sad sight, you�re gonna want to leave me anyways.�Ok, a bit dramatic, I admit. But it�s true. This is why men always seem so emotionally detached. It�s because we know that our emotions won�t allow us to get a god damned thing done. And luckily, we�re trained from birth to completely discredit them�
Of course, there�s the occasional evening when you get home piss drunk off a bottle of Chivas and cry your ass off mumbling some incoherent gibberish about how that poor bastard shot himself last weekend. That was ugly. And probably had nothing to do with the man / the myth himself. I mean the night of drinking did, but that disgusting whimpering ball of goo was whining about everything else without actually saying it.
And you have to �get� that. We channel our shit. We hit our thumbs with hammers. We get into retarded fights about being drunk and jumping into puddles. We cheat. We drink to somewhere within an inch of death and vomit violently onto strangers while doing all of the above mentioned.
I�m suddenly reminded of one of my favorite songs of all times� Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd. The song is good, fine and great� The idea. Comfortably Numb. Those two words scream volumes.
As of my writing yesterday I feel clearer. I can focus a lil better than I�ve been able to in the past few weeks. I think I can finally start packing today.