Fear and Loathing accross the US
2003-08-25 3:26 a.m.
I'm genrally a long-term person... All my relationships have lasted 1+ years.. well the 'real' ones anyways (post sophmore year HS). I'm still VERY close with all the many many people I've met throughout my life. I've made up with some enemies, I'm close with most of my ex girlfriends, My old boss still calls me every couple of weeks to invite me to his place to hang with him and his family.
I have this inherent belief in the good of all people. With good reason. I've spoken to the biggest assholes and the worst liars while they've been in their saddest moment. I've sat with whores, thugs, cowards, frat boys, preppies, sweethearts, potheads, the lonely, the friendly, the homeless, the drug fiends, the musicians, artists, parents, old men and women. I have the utmost respect for every one of them.
Insecurity, greed, lonliness, and vanity is a part of us all. But when all is stripped away, there is good. I know this for a solid fact. As well as I know that we breathe and bleed.
(hold on.. Im'd by a client)
Motha Fuckers... Let me tell you something. If any of you 2 or 3 readers out there ever do freelance work, never work for someone promising you the world, unless the have the world to sign over to you in that instance.
A client of mine, who i was helping with some of his client work just asked me to seperate the bill into 2. One for his boss, and one for him. As his boss would only pay x amount, which was about 60% of my fee. I told him I'd bill his client, but never work with his client again, and to give me $50 a few beers when I get to his neck of the woods and a floor to crash on and we'd call it even, with one condition. that he'd get rid of the fucker.
The worst part of freelancing is dealing with bums who thing they're hot shit and deserve the world from you including your top priority. But when it comes time to ante up they forget what you've done for them. Fuck them. I can spot them form 20 miles away now, and I'm ready to spit in their face as they approach.
Where was i... oh..
So I've been calling old friends, relatives, ex-coworkers, clients, and most importantly new friends about places to crash, or at least people to drink with on this road trip...
so, i'm geeked, burnt out, tired and hung over all in one solid swoop. I can tell you one thing... I can't fucking wait to get on the road.
The last 4 days have been nonstop work, but, quite literally, it's paid off. I should be able to slap rent on the counter and have enough to be retarded fear and loathing style for 2 - 4 weeks.
Today was my day to hang with my girl. It went exactly how I expected, although sad in a way. Her mom had surgery the other day so she's going to see her family this week as she decided this morning. When she told me, I remended her that I was on a plane to Chicago on the 2nd. She knew this already, but acted like it was news for the sake of, well..
So our day in the park to chill turned into a lovely arguement. I expected she would want to break it off with me. Of course, I say go on ahead but never make it easy to leave. Not that I'm forceful. Just the opposite. Just be myself. as if she never told me it was over. After 20 minutes she realizes that she's gotten no rise out of me and is mad at me for not being able to leave me.
Quite literally, I don't do anything, and it works. Being a veteran pothead has paid off.
I told her she'll have a month on her own to figure it all out. If she stays then she gotta make more money. If she wants out, I'll give her the apartment and find a roommate.. or maybe just move elsewhere. I'll know more about the elsewhere part after this trip.
Back to the trip. A month ago I called G. and said we're going to cali. I've been promising a friend lunch for so damned long now, i was determined to follow through. 3 weeks ago he called me back and suggested road trip instead. This is the same guy who crashed on the beach with me in CanCun after we ran out of money. Who am I to say no?!?!
We've basically agreed to grab our shit and our passports and just break the fuck out. We'll go til the money runs low, then work or way back to Chicago. Then we're driving to NY.. Here's the cities on the list so far...
Vancouver (by the 6th), San Francisco and the general vacinity, LA, Santa Monica, Reno, Vegas, Phoenix, Boulder CO, Glendwood Springs CO, Seattle, Portland, Kansas, Mexico (??), Montreal (??), Baltimore, DC, Chicago, NY.
3 of the above stops are incredibly important to me, as with them come the potential for new people in my life. To some that's not a big deal, for me life = people (as explained above). A couple others will give me the chance to meet my clients and write the trip off. And the rest is about breathing and bleeding. About living and loving. About seeing and feeling.
I'm so excited i can barely sleep.
Packed the ipod with everything from the Doors to Del to SEEL to Mobb Deep to Bjork to QBert to Erykah to Santana to the Beatles to Roni Size.
And Lah.. Thank you.. I will do my best to restore your faith in the male species. Or at least humor you for a bit.