Dignified

2005-08-08 5:37 a.m.
Ah, nice and clean shaven. Ok, so I did end up showering on Saturday. Besides the unmistakable stench of alcohol, I didn�t really stink, but I did feel the need to keep myself in some sort of order since I was entering the public on occasion.

I did let my beard take over my face. How could one possibly be on a 3 day bender while clean shaven?! Besides, while in such a state, one probably shouldn�t handle a product touted for its number of blades.

There�s something far more dignified in such a bender after the quarter century mark. I remember in the past such things involve a lot more broken furniture and awkwardness. Now when I stumble and knock something over, I excuse my clumsiness, pardon my condition and move on confidently.

I recall stumbling through the world remaining socially unacceptable finding myself napping in alleys, park benches and jail cells. Now, I stroll through the world with a dignified grin. Yes I am drunk AND functional. �Oh, pardon my step. I didn�t see your kid there.� Help the kid up and move on confidently.

And of course at a younger age such things are far more social. It�s usually 3 or 4 people getting tanked together. This is dangerous and ineffective, yet wildly amusing. Now, into the adult stage, it�s meant to be a time of solitude. It can only be done on one�s own, although my roommate is a good exception as he�s one to allow me to drink and be (albeit the occasional �look at you, you drunk asshole� to which I would smile and finish my drink while readying the next).

I was on the phone a lot yesterday. I swear, you let one friend buy you a drink and next thing you know you get 5 phone calls asking if everything�s ok. It doesn�t help to be 3 days deep into incoherency. I assured everyone that I�m all good and assured most that the bender was in celebration of something or other. Of course I mumbled about my problems with a couple people but overall it was jovial and pleasant conversation.

And now, after 3 days of sad music, maintaining a slow stumble with a bottle of scotch in hand, mediocre masturbation and online poker, I�m ready to return to society and pay my damned rent. I was up by 2 this morning, to make sure I even beat the east coaster�s to work. My head is clear as is my face. Now if I can only surpass this fit of procrastination I feel coming on�