Custodial Engineer
2005-08-09 1:22 a.m.
Sometimes it�s like the world is just working around me. When I�m in work mode, I sleep with my laptop by me. I know it sounds mad geek, but basically it allows me to do what I gotta do when I get up without making a task of it. Having an irregular sleep schedule makes this more necessity than luxury. Also, since I�ve no stereo it�s what keeps my head busy through the silence.Anyways, when I came to crash tonight, I caught a glimpse of G�s email. I didn�t actually read it, just caught a glance, which turned into a couple sentences. I closed it before I got into his biz, but the impression was made. He�s got no reason to be here besides a dream I sparked long ago.
The road trip a couple years ago was my originally my idea which he helped expand and then he quit his job and we did it, and it was dope. And during the trip I told him, pick a city and we�ll go there, and here we are. I didn�t push. Just a couple hints, a couple disclaimers and leave it to him.
I know, he�s a grown ass man, etc, etc. But who the fuck is really grown? I know 50 year old men recently becoming unemployed - unqualified for a follow up positions, dealing with high school drama and whatnot. I know 35 year old men still running from responsibility and life as if they were 16.
Basically the letter was G�s girl begging him to be with her and him professing his willingness to drop everything to be with her. He mentioned earlier in the night that he was thinking of leaving soon, as in before I finish shit up here. I want to try to get shit done quicker just so he doesn�t have to trek back solo. I brought his ass here and it�s up to me to bring his ass back.
Yeah I know. He ain�t done shit since we got here, why would I go out of my way to get shit taken care of for him. Well, because he�d do the same for me if I asked. I pretty much feel like that�s why he�s here. I feel like I asked him to roll with me and so he did and here he is� first time away from home, no idea how to move forward� ready to jump head first into the woman he loves. And what kind of asshole would I be to delay such a beautiful thing?
I proclaim my throne often, but when it�s just me in bed with the glow of a 17� light bulb, headphones and a flurry of keytaps, I admit to my humble grounding as a servant to those nearest to me� I gotta get G home ASAP. Hopefully he�ll move to Tampa with his girl. Hopefully maybe this time away from home gave him what he needed to do what he feels he needs to do to be what he wants to be.
And me� well, I�m a fucking mess. But when I�m a mess I tend to be the perfect custodial engineer to those in my immediate vicinity. And so� I�ll get G home. Cuz he needs to get home. I�ll be S�s friend, because she likes to talk to me without the weight of being with me. I�ll help mom with her dream, because she�s dedicated so much to mine. I�ll bring dad out of his shell because I�m the only one who thinks he�s funny. I�ll don my jumpsuit and run my kingdom from the trenches ensuring my peers are stronger than me so when I finally drop the mop back into the bucket and fall to my knees from exhaustion they can look at this marble floor and marvel at their beautiful reflection.