Giddy
2005-04-25 1:24 p.m.
I finished �Angels and Demons� yesterday morning, which was hardly challenging but a fun read no less. Akin to watching a blockbuster movie in July, I suppose. Now that I�m finished with that, I�ve returned to my goal of reading Hunter Thompson�s complete collection.�There are literary critics who insist that Ernest Hemingway was a tortured queer and that Mark Twain was haunted to the end of his days by a penchant for interracial buggery. It is a good way to stir up a tempest in the academic quarterlies, but it won�t change a word of what either man wrote, nor alter the impact of their work on the world they were writing about. Perhaps Manolete was a hoof fetishist, or suffered from terrible hemorrhoids as a result of long nights in Spanish horn parlors� but he was a great matador, and it is hard to see how any amount of Freudian theorizing can have the slightest effect on the reality of the thing he did best.�
- Hunter Thompson, Hell�s Angels
The quote above relates to a situation a very close friend was in recently, or at least relates to something we talked about. S is an incredible writer and she�d been in a recent silly scuffle which seemed completely absurd to me. My recommendation was that she start submitting her work to be published. Once published (or whatever equivalent your �career� might have), judgments upon you hold far less merit. For now, your just a belligerent drunken college kid, but as a published author, you�re an artist with a penchant for drinking and honesty.
A bit of a stretch maybe from Freudian conversation about famous writers, but distant judgments are merely misunderstandings regardless of the subject or subject matter. I�ve always felt the social contribution of a person a far better scale by which to weigh a person than a tipsy evening at a snooty party.
Otherwise things in LA are all chunky-delicious gravy. I�ve spent quite a bit of time indoors centering and balancing myself. I�ve had quite a resurgence of interest in phone conversation recently. Hour and a half with A here and there, a couple hours with TBX, 5 hours with S. All enlightening and comfortable conversations. I haven�t spoken on the phone for more than 10 minutes since I was about 17 or so (9 years?).
I�ve got work POURING in from every little corner, so I expect to be doing very well very soon. Hopefully I can finally buy a building in Chicago. I�ve recently decided I�d like to develop a bit of a home base in Chicago � hopefully with tenants covering the rent of an extra apartment, which would allow me to travel as I please and store all my shit. It will be nice to have an actual home at �home�. I�d prefer a house, but that can wait. I�ve plenty of time to dominate the planet and have a yard.
I figure I can grab a 3 � 6 unit building, set the rents to cover mortgage and at least 80% rent for an extra apartment. Set myself up with an office and plain old apartment and then I can spend months at a time anywhere else without much worry. I�ve plenty of trustworthy professional help in Chicago to manage the building, and now more of a reason to be there more often very soon.
Things have gone well with my ex in NY. I got the most delightful IM from her just today� A couple days ago I called and mentioned that, while I�m looking forward to seeing her in a few weeks, that we should probably avoid any serious intimacy. Of course, it wasn�t my place to tell her that I�ve since moved on, as that would accomplish nothing.
She took it and we got off the phone. She called the next day in agreement. Today I get an IM that made my month (well, my month�s been made ten-fold, but you get the idea):
�You are so great�
�Huh?�
�You�ve just been so great to me�
�You stoned?�
�No stupid, I just wanted to say thank you.�
�For what?�
�I�m just saying that you�re a great person. I�m mad that we�re apart but I feel 10x better. I really needed this time on my own. I�ve learned so much with you and now it�s my time, and you recognized that. I miss you but I know I�m meant to do well on my own now.�
�Well , I�m glad you�re happy�
�I�m so happy. This is exactly what I needed. How are you?�
�Well, I�m really good. Even better knowing that you�re happy. I�ve been worried about you�
�I know. But it�s good. Everything is good.�
�Well then, everything is good here too then.�
�I�m enjoying it. You�ve been so patient and understanding. Thank You.�
�Good, I knew you would enjoy it. And I�m REALLY happy that you are.�
�Yeah. I hope you�re treating yourself right�
�Always�
Icing on a great big fancy cake. With like m&ms and jello squares and ice cream and stuff.
Lets see how long this streak lasts. Things aren�t exactly perfect, but they�re damned good in an odd sort of way. I am dealing with a nother horrible acne breakout (LA seems to do this to me every time) and I've bee nindoors a bit too much, and I'm still homeless, but things are still good. More than anything, I�m looking forward to all the work, a full bank account and I�m REALLY antsy about a weekend I�m going to spend in Chicago in two weeks. Giddy. Like the night before Christmas or the last 5 minutes before you get out of jail from a fucked up night or something.