Group Dynamics
2004-05-09 11:00 p.m.
Another damned good weekend. Before I begin, let me say Happy Mother's day to her as well as any other mothers who happen to stop in once in a while.I wanted to run to Chicago to surprise mom real quick, but ended up getting caught up in some things and couldn't leave the city. It worked out cuz my mom's boyfriend was taking her on a weekend trip.
So last Wednesday was tight, as I'd previously mentioned, and I saw a lot of dynamics in the evening. About a year and a half ago, I started a group as a bit of a study in group dynamics and collaboration. It�s something I�ve been interested in since my 1st party some 15-odd years ago. It�s the reason I bought decks, and it�s the reason I threw parties 2 or 3 times a week. I�ve always been enamored with how individuals come together.
Watching people who know each other well. Watching those who�ve just met. Watching some people take to each other instantly, while others stick by those they know until a few drinks get to them. In the beginning there�s small talk throughout, and as the night progresses, you get a couple private conversations which break into laughter while everyone eventually gets included. Attractions become apparent. Potential business (money based or not) rears it�s head. The dynamic is incredible to watch and always worth being a part of.
So this �study� of last year� I brought together about 25 professional designers (and a couple developers who left very early). We all had our profession in common as well as a common goal based on a couple collaboration projects. Some friendships flourished, some people left quickly. I�ve personally met a few of the members and a few others have met each other, but in the beginning none of us knew each other very closely. Only through a message board.
Due to the economics of the past year and a half, the group eventually broke in separate directions to pay rent. We didn�t get very much accomplished as far as overall goals were concerned, but a definite bond was forged. I still consider most of the members very good friends. About 60% of the business from the past 8 months has been with a few of them. I talk to some of them every day, until this day, and the others get as excited as I do when we get a few minutes to talk. Btw, everyone in the group is in different cities and countries. That wasn�t done on purpose or anything, just happened that way.
They�ve been talking about regrouping recently.
So while slugging down tequilas and coronas on Wednesday, I saw another potentially close knit group emerging. I invited about 15 people out, and about 10 of them showed up. Some of whom I�ve known since high school, and some we�d all just met recently. This is a group with similar interests, but not too similar. All professional, and everyone in entirely different industries. Some heavy drinkers and some very light (I tend to be in the heavy group). Some sports fans, and some not (I tend to be in the not group).
So I started a mailing list (email based) to see if I could get a single source of contact for everyone. I wasn�t sure how it would come about, but figured what the hell. If it becomes well used, I may put together a site specifically tuned to our needs as a group. Sure there are plenty of sites attempting to promote group dynamics (friendster, message boards, etc). But they tend to be VERY general or overly specific to subject matter, and not so much in relationships. This is a closed group, and a closed �study�. People must be invited into the list, and any beefs on the list get you booted.
It�s not really a matter of policing, as I�m not trying to literally study my friends. I actually see a real benefit in the list and what couple come out of it, and I�m watching to see if anyone will really actually be interested. As far as kinda policing the list, the idea is to keep any small dramas out of the tools I�m building.
I don�t want anyone to suddenly break up with their significant other because of this list or worse on the list �in front of� everyone. As well, I�m trying to avoid allowing any stalkers or strangers getting on the list knowing what we�re into every night. Believe it or not the issue�s already risen (I�ts only been 3 days!). My boy T. invited 2 girls to the list, and they�re not happy each other is there. I told T. to handle it, or I�m taking them both off.
The idea is that eventually you get to a point where say, it�s Thursday night, you�ve had a long week and are in dire need of a drink. You drop a note to the list and, instantly, everyone you hang with regularly knows that you�re interested in a drink. Someone�s bound to want to hook up. In seconds, 20+ people are pondering a night out, offering up what they�ve heard is going on tonight, or announcing open plans, open bars, or +1�s.
The more useful it becomes, the more time I�m going to put into it. Eventually I�ll add SMS support (phone messaging), probably phone browser support, and whatever else technology will allow me to offer, that everyone deems useful. It may get to a point that with a couple thumb-presses on a phone pad you know exactly what all your people are doing for the evening and when they�ll be doing it. The best part being that it�s all friends. Not the 350,000 in your personal network. Not the other 10,000 people miscellaneously spammed by the local club. Actual people you hang with regularly.
The first trial was on Friday. The list was about 10 deep, 4 of which needed a bit of a nudge from me to sign up. I put out a message about hitting the Mexican food spot we wanted to hit on Wednesday which turned out too packed. Four hours later we were 10 deep in the garden of the restaurant meeting a couple new heads and chowing down some incredible (relatively, this is NY) Tex-Mex food.
The group grew by 4 more and we walked about a mile to some shitty bar (following T, which seems to have been a bad idea, as he was just following some girl who hadn�t even left her dorm yet). We get to the spot and they�re blasting footloose. Place is packed wall to wall. I had to take the wheel again. I grabbed R. and walked back out. R. heard of a spot going on for 5 bucks, and 3 cabs full of people took us to the next spot.
2 more heads joined us and a few passed on, but the night was perfect. Since V. was in town again and she seem to be the only person who can drag my ass to the dance floor effectively, I actually ended up shakin my ass a bit. Was a chill spot, which we�ve been near but never in for years. They were rocking some old shit (SWV, old Redman shit, etc) Hit breakfast with V and A to catch up on the past 10 years and all out mutual friends, and walked into my door at 8am.
I�d say the first trial went well. Since then we�ve got about 18 heads on the list. Eventually I expect smaller groups will emerge within the context of the whole. Regardless of success or failure in the long run, some good times should be in order.
Spent the weekend with my girl and I have at least 2 weeks worth of work ahead of me, which is always good. I still haven�t had to actually truly sell myself yet (besides the general pitch that goes along with a proposal for work and what not), so to have regular work is surprising, and a truly nice break. Shit, I haven�t even made myself cards yet, since I only have 2 local clients. All the rest are Everywhere else in the world, ranging from Australia to London to Cali to Chicago to Hong Kong.
Always glad to see things in a forward progression.
I hope your Monday starts off well.