Honesty

2003-12-18 2:13 a.m.
The secret to honesty is knowing when to hold and when to show. Never bluff as it leads to a loss.

This is something I've told myself since the day I've sworn myself to honesty. It's a loooong journey from great story teller to comepletely honest, and you tend to lear a LOT about yourself as well as those around you. How ugly the truth is, how ugly people can become when they hear it, how easy life is when surrounded by it, how rare it actaully is.

I actaully wrote the first paragraph on a bar napkin tonight. I got a huuuuge ego trip from a good friend (R.) and his very good friend (S.).

S. explained to me tonight how much she wanted to hate me and just couldn't. I've heard this explanation almost as much as I've heard my name. I've come to find 2 things in my bout with honesty.

First that most people don't like it nor do they like those who live by it.

Second that those who are mostly honest to themselves at least about their surroundings (honesty about one's self is by far the hardest) can't help but attract to it.

So S. explained taht since she met me after my messign around ordeal last year she was destined to hate me. Unfortunately for that plan, every single curve ball she threw was met with complete honesty and reality, which is the same shit i handled that judged situation with.

So I've become an instant best friend. I'm going to cook her some refried beans when I get back from holiday. We're the first ones t obe invited to her new place.

I LOVE making new friends.

I think it's mostly because it's a rare thing. Don't get me wrong I'm fairly easy to get along with, abiding by one exception. One must accept the truth that I give when I'm in 'the mood'. When brass tax comes to frition, I've lost all stories and it's all fact.

Don't ask me if you look fat when you're wearing clothes 2 sizes too small. Don't ask if you were an ass last night while coked up and drunk. I'll be honest, and your insecurity will alienate you. BUT. I will help you pick a new outfit that looks damned good. And I'll probably be the only one who still has an unphased respect for you after 'that night'.

OK.. 5 hours of work to go for the big dogs and then big time xmas shopping (first time in a few years) and then I'm off to Chicago to be with those I've loved for so long.