Merry Mishmish

2005-12-26 1:48 p.m.
When I think about Christmas, I think of Family and Cold. The two things ever-present every Christmas for me. Actually it used to even be a hassle, as I had two families to join every year. Go by momma�s momma�s for the early dinner of Polish Sausage an Pierogies and Saurkraut and all that good ol Polish food. Then trek it over to my dad�s mom�s for Gorditas and Tacos and Enchiladas and well, whatever other incredible Mexican dish was in order for the year.

My mom�s side had a reasonable normal tradition. Dinner and drinks and let the kids open the presents. The Christmas Day presents were for the immediate family the next morning.

Dad�s side always had traditions that freaked me out when I was a kid. Singing Christmas Carols, holding lit candles, passing around a baby Jesus doll and kissing it on the forehead. E and I used to pour wax on each other and try not to flinch to throw off the attention. It was definitely strange, but everyone agreed on how strange it was, which actually made it fun. Drunken giggles from around the room and whatnot.

Eventually all the cousins and uncles and aunts would head out to the local bar and get smashed while the kids (including me) played with the stuff we got. I�d always wished I were old enough to go out with everyone.

So this year, the family was thousands of miles away. And it DEFINITELY wasn�t cold. So it was rather strange. It didn�t FEEL like Christmas. I didn�t quite get that warm-fuzzy I tend to get.

The dinner we put together was incredible. I made some egg nog from scratch. The recipe said about 4 shots of Jim Beam which made no sense at all, since it took almost an entire bottle to be �right�. Btw, if you hate egg nog, try the home made kind. Huge difference from the store bought shit. Oh, and make sure you have a hand mixer. It took like 30 � 45 minutes to beat the damned eggs.

Nick put together a Roast, some Mac & Cheese (much better this time) and some greens (with the turkey necks so, again, much better this time). I got the chicken enchiladas going and finished up with a pot of tortilla soup. While sweating away in the kitchen, N complained that the DJ had fallen off as the music had been off for about 5 minutes. So I�d decided to torture him with Frank Sinatra�s Christmas album. So perfectly and appropriately corny.

J (I�s lil brother) came by with some beer and took care of the dishes while I finished up the cooking. And there it was� this year�s family. My brother and a friend of a friend�s brother.

While introducing J to �Bad Santa� � our first Christmas movie of three, A dropped a text message. J commented that it was rather odd and random for A to hit me up just then. I was a bit too high and drunk to get across that it was far more random for him to be over for Christmas dinner than for A to call during.

The rest of the Christmas Movie List included Leaving Las Vegas and Die Hard. Me and N�s joint list are the first two. My personal addition is Die Hard, which I always tend to drunkenly fall asleep to every Christmas.

---

There�s no great way to document text messages, so they�re going here. While struggling over our full stomachs to the liquor cabinet every 20 or 30 minutes, I began texting about 80 people. My stupid little joke about the silliness of the debate over using the word �Christmas� on Christmas.

�Happy Holimas!�

The ever beautiful J----- came right back with the title of this post�

�Merry Mishmish�

Some called right back� Some responded with laughs and their own version. Some came back from Chicago / New York with

�You Here?!!�

�:( unfortunately not� stuck in sunny CA, standing outside in jeans and a tshirt right now� (which I was, at times)

About 35 replies on Christmas eve and another 15 or so on Christmas Day�

R---, G-----�s sister replied sweetly and added

�Whoever�s got tamales - �

G----- came back with a hilarious

�Happy Birthday Jesus�

(you really gotta know the bastard to know why that�s so damned funny. No way to explain it� no anecdote to attach to it. Just funny cuz it�s him)

S---- got my stupid-ness gave gave an equally silly reply �

�Dear wordsmith. I hope you realize you wished me �Holy Mass� My religious sensibilities are offended.�

�Mission Accomplished�

A---- the producer / rap nerd:
�Was Holimas that run dmc christmas song?!?!�

And my favorite� by dear old dad�

�What the Fuck is Holimas!?�

What the fuck, indeed.