Monetary Attachment

2004-04-16 4:17 a.m.
I got a bit emotioanlly attached to my income for a moment today. Growing up, I never gave much a damn about money as we had very little. Once I hit HS I seemed to have a lot. Throwing parties 2 - 3 times a week, selling whatever people 'needed', 1 to 2 jobs at all times, I just had a LOT of sources of income.

Add to that a good reputation which got me into parties and got me free blunts, bags and drinks, and I was just plain financailly stable. So I put it all into gas, insurance, crossfaders, decks, vinyl, bigger parties, and whatever the fuck else I could think to waste my money on. Still no attachment.

But now.. After these loooong and drawn out no income years in brooklyn... now that I'm running my own shit and now that every hour I put into anything requires a statement of sorts, I've found a bit of attachment. Not too big, really, but as I've mentioned I've some decent sized plans for the next few years. Also, wehn you actaully log your hours and have week long discussions with people you don't really know about what you charge per hour for your time, and then planning your income according to how many hours of work you can get / do, the attachment to money and your time become a little stronger.

So when $2800 magically appeared (wire transfer from overseas) in my account this morning (3 weeks late I might add, hence the empty refrigerator, the paperweight of a phone, the annoyed landlord, the 2 month backlog on bills, etc), I was beyond relieved. I could catch up!!!

$1000 for Rent (another 1k in 2 weeks, I might add)

$300 for cable / internet

$250 for the cell

$100 for cooking gas

$100 for my laptop (the last of my debts, $1k to go)

Ok.. cool. Caught up, and a bit ahead. $1050 left which means I have rent covered in 2 weeks, plus a bit to spare to get some real food in my fridge. A couple steaks, some scrimps, and the general shit like milk, cheese, ham, bread, etc.

Rub the trash out of my eyes, glance at the calendar.

Fuck.

Tax Day.

I knew it was coming, but for some reason I was supposed to have more in my coiffers when it came.

$1400 for taxes. And that's my creative figure. All legal, but it took some research to get my tax owed down that far. I was just short of a whimper. No bullshitting, I actually called my mother.

My mom and I are tight, much more like friends than mother / son. We usually talk about business, relationships and finance. Seriously, 80% of our conversations involve one of those 3 subjects. She's been hustlin and strugglin her whole life playing every system, which makes her driven, independant and the best resource for all of the above. Also makes me require independance and intelligence in a woman, but we'll schedule with freud and talk about that shit later.

So I ended up wakin her up, which i didn't mean to do, but she's workin hard these days with some twisted hours so I never know when to call her. She talked me down from my slighly emotional ledge based on monetary attachment. She reminded me that my debts are gone. She reminded me that I'm makin it. Leave it to mom to hook up the confidnece.

All this was by about 9AM. I went to take a quick nap, woke up at 11am and bam. The OTHER $2500 I was waiting for and forgot all about.

I took my girl out right away and bought some steaks for a steak and egg breakfast tomorrow (marinating in some concoction i put together a couple hours ago involving beer, mustard and garlic).

Sigh of relief. I'm covered for a couple months. I can actually make time for some of my own shit. I can actaully take my girl out, probably buy her that digital tablet she wanted (she's an incredible artist). I can start putting away for my trip to Europe. I can calm the fuck down a bit. Not that anyone besides my girl could tell I was stressing, but now I'm really actually not.

Oh, as a side note, it looks like I may be spending the month of June in San Francisco. That cat I met up with out there (fairly well known dude in my industry) told me he can't find any locals to hire for some work that he can trust. So if he can swing for airfare and a sublet, I'm in.

Of course I have to reschedule some shit and my girl was unexpectedly cool and easy about it. Still considering, but I wouldn't mind being in SF for a month. It's pretty nice out there.

Less stress and a good summeer ahead. And I can actaully buy some damned clothes!!! OH! And Dim Sum on Sunday, and Kill Bill 2 tonight.

Love and Happiness. Speaking of which, where's my Al Green...