Solidified
2005-06-14 5:14 a.m.
It�s always odd to find comfort within the ruins of myself. Tonight�s bottle takes me wandering among the cracked stones buried within decades of dirt and decay. A wink to the times� when stories told, the blank stares scream of disbelief and absurdity. My confidence stinks of honesty, but the stories reek of unsavory bullshit.And this morning, I drunkenly sit working my way towards the cracks of sunlight through my vertically torn windows. Why and how the fuck did I get to LA?!
My brother spent his 3 week moment in Chicago dealing with the burden of death and the beauty of new love, although it will never seem so gorgeous when his spattered descriptions - dripping of cool, pride and masculinity - make way. Regardless of eloquence and candor, our words could never reflect light upon our intentions. And that within itself is stunning. These amazing things we partake and create without the ability or even need to express them.
My perpetual interest and arrogant boredom with the surrounding world is both quenched and teased by love, adventure and societal standard. Still avoiding native contact in favor of general priority. Emotion has nudged its way before logic. Happiness, even if in doses, has replaced my marrow and my bones are now mountains holding the oceans in place. Maybe our world is 90% water� on the surface. But the ocean floors are earth and stone.
Confidence has grown frail in comparison to the roots holding my footing. I am the earth from which this world will germinate. I am the king of all kings and my reign will be steady. You might not notice my kingdom, but should you catch whiff, your existence will become my playground. My kindness and my strength are one in the same. I am done drunkenly rambling lines with little bearing (at least that got your attention).
God damn these beans are good. As is good ol� John Black. Ok back to work.