Yo Mama!

2006-05-15 4:20 a.m.
Yesterday was kinda like one big reverse drunk dial. I was drunk and they all called me. It was in fact of my own prodding to some extent, but not Really. I say it�s the fault of everyone who has tried to ignore their inner child. Everyone who has forgotten the true meaning of�

�Yo Mama!!�

Which of course has its own special humor on mother�s day. Especially if you happen to be sitting at a lunch or dinner table or even in the same room with your mother and you get the good ol� grade school insult you probably haven�t heard since you actually lived with her. Not that I thought it out that far, I just said it to one person and they laughed for 20 minutes, so I figured everyone should enjoy such laughter.

Now� in sober hindsight, I can see how this could be read as �Yo, Mama!� But after 12 hours of whisky and poker, that distinction doesn�t exist. All I can do is giggle to myself for 20 minutes as I send eighty people my grade school insult.

�Twas all good at first. Got about 30 back. �Fuck you, foo! Yo Mama!� and �Why you gotta get on mommas� I just got off yours� and the like. Which was extras special mixed in those with the sweet responses I got form the actual mothers (who were spared the grade school shit for something chill � I know � txt message = tacky mother�s day wish but shit I can�t call ALL the mothers I know and love).

So after about a couple hours, my calls were done, the incoming txt�s trickled to about one every ten minutes and I could finally finish my last drink and get some sleep. And then the calls started. About ten calls � all sweet, beautiful women � all in about a half an hour. And of course I was drunk and giggly which was just extra special. I didn�t explain myself. Fuck that. Explaining a grade school joke just murders it. And I hadn�t heard from a lot of them in a while, so it was good in that respect.

Though I do wonder if it�ll ever click as to what I was saying. And it�s nice to know that a simple �Yo Mama� is all it takes to get a bunch of beautiful women to call me.

Anyways� stupid Mama�s Day anecdote which shed a little light on the fact that it�s impossible to get the correct impression across all the time in plain ol� text. Something that�s gotten me in a good deal of trouble in the past, but actually worked out to something good for a change.

Now I gotta start getting ready cuz� it�s like a 2 hour bus ride to Downtown and I have a damned meeting there. And this is gonna be the last damned one if I have my say. 2 hours to go to a meeting. Gotta be out of your damned mind. I mean I can charge for that time, but that doesn�t matter. It�s not the money, it�s the lack of 4 hours of my life just to sit with a couple suits and discuss a database schema.

There�s a very good reason you might not know what a database schema is and why it would need to be discussed, and its called Quantifiable Disinterest.