You Need Help
2007-07-17 10:20 a.m.
I like porn.At around the age that things start "changing" we notice tingles in odd places. Our dicks get hard at odd times and when you even look at them funny, this weird milky stuff comes out of them and it's... well... euphoric. You start trying to fuck everything, eventually finding that your hand is a magical tool. Now if you could only control the urges...
You roam and wander, jerking off here and there... until, in your innocent search of understanding, you come across some stash of magazines with *gasp* naked women. You look through in disgust and awe. You read the silly comics that you don't quite get and suddenly realize that the naked woman on the opposite page is making your little thing do its little thing. And then begins your secret love affair of porn. Eventually (and now that it's 1000x easier than it was for our fathers), you find your way to video.
It has nothing to do with "what I want" or more specifically what I want "from you." If you think I would rather fuck the plastic tittie'd cum-bag on the screen who now happens to have a cock in every visible orifice including the 14 inch python in her asshole**, you need help.
I masturbate.
I love sex. On occasion, I love having sex 6 times in a day. But sometimes, jerking off is just plain easier. No sweating. No cramps. No overwhelming need for a nap. No cuddling. No kissing after all the dirty things we've done with our mouths. Just squeeze one off and get back to work.
I'm not really sure who I'm thinking about when I'm jerking off. Sure, sometimes it's my significant other. Sometimes it's *GASP* an ex-girlfriend. Sometimes it's a sexy friend who I never got the chance to get down with. Sometimes it's one of the thousands of gorgeous puerto rican woman who walk by my window every day. Sometimes it's some actress. Sometimes it's some odd and insane mix of all of the above. It's usually not the girl in the porn video that might be in front of me at the time. It might be that position she's in and it might sound like her, but the girl in my head probably looks like one of the above.
If you think jerking off to one of the above is somehow better than sex with you, you need help.
I look at beautiful women.
Sometimes because they're aesthetically pleasing. Sometimes because I want to jerk off to them later. I have no urge to speak with them. I've just never had the interest to stick my nice clean cock into miscellaneous strangers. Besides that, I know from plenty of experience that excessively beautiful women are Fucking Crazy.
More importantly, I spend all my free time with you. Shit, I even spend my busy time with you. I take you where I go. I cook for you. You live in my apartment. You know my friends. I dig you. And just because I look at pretty girls or make comments about how fat some girl's ass is (as a positive trait) doesn't mean I plan to dive between her cheeks the moment you look away.
If you think insecurity is sexy, you need help.
** I've always wondered - Is it possible for a woman to constrict her asshole after something like that?