Blast from the Past...

2000-06-21 06:56:00
It's pretty weird being a day to day geek nowadays... My whole teenage years are a big blur... They seem to all blend into one huge party. But before the party days, around 7th or 8th grade, I had some thuggish older friends that taught me more about life than I've ever learned from anyone. Unfortunately I caught some of their bad habits too.. One of the few things I'm thankful to have left behind... I've NO regrets, but some things are better a part of history than a part of the future...

...an excerpt from a letter I recieved from an old friend of mine today...
I saw the flic of you with [old best friend's name here]. I remembered about the time where you almost shot him (and then read what you wrote about that). I don't think I ever told you, but I was the one who left the bullet in the chamber. I couldn't get it out (the gun was rusted and shit).

Before you almost shot him, I didn't want to tell you about it, because you told me not to fuck with the gun, and I didn't want you to be pissed. Then, I heard you almost shot his ass. That still lives with me until this day. It would have been my fault. That's some scary shit. When you told me about what happened (it was at recess... [a little bit of editing out on my part]... I'll NEVER forget it). To this day, that was the luckiest day of my life. How fucked would that be to have to live with being the cause of:

A. Ending the kid's life, and fucking up his parents and family's lives
B. Possibly fucking up your life and especially your mind.
C. Having to live every day thinking about both of the above.

I had forgotten about the whole incident (or blocked it out of my mind) until just now. Sorry I never told you, but I'm glad I finally did. I still have the slug or the cartridge somewhere (I took one, or the other to remind myself not to be so sloppy...life really changed that day). I can never forget seeing your shelving unit with the big groove in it from where the bullet went, or the hole in the wall. Crazy....
I beat the shit out of my cousin a week later because I thought it was him who had gotten the bullets from one stash, and the gun from another stash, and the clip from another stash .. all well hidden in my room. I'm still glad I beat my cousin down, bucause he was a punk. And after that, he started straightening his shit out... As did i.

Well.. that's a 10 year old story that just shocked the fuck out of me today...

I think I'm enjoying this pretty streak I'm on. I may keep a habit of buying clothes and keeping up my appearence. It's really helpful when one doesn't have much of a following due to his own social hibernation. I mean, it's not like I never get out, but it's pretty seldom in comparison to the way things used to go. I guess 1 or 2 times a week isn't too bad, but I definately mis the every day thing.

I wonder how [old best friend's name here] is doing. Last I heard he was devoteing his life to being a cop. His father is a sargeant back home and his brother was a pretty good cop. As well as a couple other family members of his. I'm sure he's doing well. We kinda drifted about a year after the incident mentioned above. He was getting more and more studious and athletic whereas I was throwing parties and I started doing shows...

Well.. time to close my eyes for a few hours..