Better Weekends, Please

2005-08-14 10:38 a.m.
Another sad weekend... Well, not completely.

I mean SM came by yesterday and the 3 of us (including G) hit the boardwalk for a while so G could grab some tshirts before he hit the road. G�s one of those dirty fuckers who wears the stupid tourist tshirts well. Not dirty as in filthy, but dirty as in drunk shit talking asshole. I suppose that�s why we get along so well.

SM�s ride showed up to whisk her off to some industry joint. She�s trying to get her singing career moving so she�s gotta do the shmooze thing. She invited us but G was passing out and I had a birthday to attend. I�m not huge on industry shmooze anyways. I�m really good at bullshit� but� I�m really bad at bullshit. Dig?

So I hit C�s birthday � Moroccan dinner on Sunset. About 20 heads that I don�t know and lil C who I haven�t seen in 10 or 11 years. She�s just as cute as she�d been way back when she was dating P in high school. Of course the guy she�s with now is NOT P. Big pretty asian dude that I�d consider fucking if I wasn't so intimidated by his enormous muscular titties... well and actually had an interest in guys...

There was about 20 heads, and C actually walked around with me and introduced me to everyone. Such a rare nicety these days. Times like this, I recall why I love Chicago, and Chicago people.

A few miscellaneous awkward conversations later we ended up at some club on Hollywood. It was packed shoulder to shoulder with drunkies trying to swallow as much liquor as possible before the 130 cutoff (it was about 110). This is why 4 oclock bars are such a necessity. In 4 oclock towns, people still go home by 2, but the people who need to keep going have the option.

Between 2 and 4 am you have all the people who have to get smashed. The people who struck out all night. The people who would be dumb enough to buy 5 shots at 125 to �beat� the closing bell.

Side Note: If you wake up next to someone you met at a bar between 2 and 4 am, do NOT look at them in the morning. Put on yo shit and leave.

Nonetheless, the option should ALWAYS be available.

Anyways, it took a while to park, so when I got to the door they wouldn�t let me in. I felt stupid arguing with some shithead in a banana yellow security jacket about getting into a place I didn�t even want to be in. After the ridiculous bickering (with my apparant disinterest in winning), he was about to let me in if I was willing to pay the $20 cover. Right, a dollar a minute because this place is SO HAUTE! I wanted to piss on his shoes right then and there (hadn�t had one drink yet for the night, btw, that was a sober thought)

C�s friend (shit, I forgot her name� we�ll call her J for journalist) noticed I was having trouble and came to the plastic ropes.

"Hey banana boy, let me talk to her really quick to see if I should pay the $20"

"It's $20 to get in, sir"

"You see that chick standing 3 feet from us looking AT us waiting to talk to me? I need to talk to her. Gimme 2 minutes."

"If you're not going to pay get on the other side of the rope."

"Rope? If you tell me to get behind the cheap plastic divider again I'm going to piss on your fake-ass Kenneth Coles. Stop being an asshole and let me talk to this chick who's like a fucking METER from us."

I knew that wasn't gonna accomplish anything. I wasn't trying to, I just wanted to talk shit. I was hoping he'd grab me. I really wanted his gay little security jacket. I had the whole thing planned out in my head. A quick gut shot, grab his jacket by the collar, whip it off and break the fuck out. I raised my hands in the "I'm NOT getting in" way and J was nice enough to come out, as he stood there holding the stupid plastic 'rope'.

�I just paid 20 dollars to be in there for 4 minutes, so you�re buying me a drink�

�But of course�

And we went to some spot next door that was just as annoying inside, but no ropes and bright yellow monkey boys protecting the lair for 20 minutes. A couple Jack Blacks on ice� more like shots on ice for $8 a piece (and people wonder why I�m never in Hollywood), about 15 minutes of actually pretty decent conversation and we were off. C was out of the club, there were drunkards jumping and screaming, and people eating hot dogs and other post clubby... um... whatever... bullshit.

They were going for Karaoke, and as I�d only had one cold shot for the night, that was my queue to head home.

So yeah� not a terrible weekend. But G�s leaving today. As in, once he wakes up, we�re headed to the boardwalk so he can buy some shit he saw yesterday and then he�s off. We had a 10 second conversation about him giving up on his own idea. We basically acknowledged that was the deal, and that everything�s all good � on both ends.

Can I get a good happy weekend some time soon, please? Something involving more drinking and a LOT more good conversation and someone actually sticking around?

Well whatever. I�m finally unpacked. 3 or 4 months here and I�ve finally unpacked. Not that I�ve much to unpack. A couple shelves of books and no shelves to put them on. The boxes my turntables came in are acting as my bookcase for the moment. No less, my room looks a bit more complete, for the moment.

I�m pretty pissed G is leaving. I�m pretty pissed that S snapped on me while chatting the other day. I'm even more pissed about my rediculous response. I�m pretty pissed about a few other things that I don�t have the patience to get into right now.

Bah, whatever. I have no idea why you people still read this shit.