Curbside
2005-08-24 1:24 a.m.
I strolled to the edge of sanity expecting to marvel at the abyss, but found a street curb. Looking into the street, I saw traffic in every direction, with no signs or signals. There were people dancing in between cars, selling newspapers and fruit and washing windows. When my eyes reached the other end of the street, I noticed someone else � who had just noticed me.�
I�m standing in a puddle for the moment. That idea hit me while I was in the shower and I refused to let it make its way to the drain with my shampoo/conditioner. I�ve been intrigued by what we consider to be sanity, and especially the edges of such things since I was in my mid-teens.
In my recent escape from a general haze, I spoke to an old friend who I used to discuss such things with back then. He mentioned some things he�s done since then that he could hardly rationalize now, but found comfort in them at the time. Being alone again for the first time in years (well, at least single and living alone and far away from those close to me), I seem to have found a rebirth in my creativity. And so I�m flipping through the crates to recall some old ideas and projects that deserve resurrection.
I recall a couple month span around then when I locked myself into a room. Well not literally. I still did shit � graff, writing, djing, etc, but I wasn�t otherwise social for a couple months. I turned down all plans (or usually just didn�t answer my pager or check my voicemail) and just sat and thought about the world. About my world.
My current idea(l)s about spirituality, knowledge, motivation, and well just about everything that that keeps me dancing in that street were all mapped out in those couple months. Maybe it seems off to admit that my today is largely based on my worldview of 16...
Dunno. I�ve wanted to live in Brooklyn since I was 6. I�ve wanted to work for myself since I was 8. I�ve wanted it to be something that allowed me to work from anywhere in the world since I was 9. That time to think was more one of review and redirection than a planning stage. And now I�m trying to remember what else I wanted to do back then so I can figure out what to do next.