Smell of Defeat

2005-01-27 2:09 p.m.
Defeat has a scent very similar to sentiment.

I�ve never seen W. like this. My first good friend in NY. I�ve known him for 5 years. He usually brushes shit off and makes witty cracks about women and business and his babies� mothers and his family and his restaurant. But now I�m sitting across the bar from him, drinking �Royal Bitch� (yes, that�s the name of the wine � actually not too bad), and listening to him tell me how much he respects me.

I�ve been in this conversation far too many times. I can smell the fear of tomorrow on his breath. His eyes are swimming in remorse. Over bitching out, he chooses comradery, And I�m the good friend who has to sit through complements and promises to always be down.

�Don�t forget me when you�re on the other side of the country�

�Dude, I haven�t forgotten friends from when I was 4�

�Yeah, well just don�t forget�

�Come on now� What�s the problem?�

The night before, he ended up with a night in jail because his girl pulled the bullshit card. Some women can really get fucked up and don�t realize or care about how the law looks at their actions. And now his baby�s mothers are trying to keep his kids from him. He pays their rents, he covers their expenses, he spends every weekend with them, but it�s never enough.

There was live music at his restaurant last night, which eased the tension a bit. And then there was an electrical fire right out front, which covered the entire block with solid black smoke � similar to the smell of burnt rubber. There were about 30 firemen standing around waiting for ConEd to show up. We kept drinking and talking � knowing no more customers would make it over. 2 bottles of Royal Bitch and a bottle of Shiraz later (about an hour I think), the power was off.

Patted him on the back and told him to quit being a lil bitch.

�Maybe we�ll hit the Bahamas in a few months�

�Just gimme a couple weeks notice. Not gonna be as easy for me from Cali�

�Bah whatever, you know you�re gonna go�

�Never said I wasn�t gonna go, I said give me 2 weeks notice you last-minute bastard�

The smoke was clear. The scent of defeat seemed to have left, but it might have just been all the soot in our noses and CO in our lungs.