Back to My Squeeze
2000-10-09 16:44:59
OK... So paradise was ill... Peace to La La. I would have loved to bring your cute self with me...On a more realistic break, the boat was chill, but going with 3 guys isn't all it's cracked up to be. You see, cruises are filled with couples. The only single women you'll find on a cruise are older women who need to get away from their husbands for a bit. I don't mind dancing with them and conversating, but i don't like them looking at me like fresh meat waiting to be devoured.
I mean.. i KNOW an older woman has plenty to show me, but i think i'd prefer to learn it myself with a woman closer to my age and with firmer skin. Besides, I had made the decision early on to NOT work for the whole trip. Not working included NOT dressing up, NOT walking too much, NOT running game, NOT giving a flying fuck about anything.
I was roomed with the goofy kid of the four of us (Every group has one goofy ass virgin - just for when things get boring). He had thought i was an obnoxious drunk. Those are actually 2 different compliments. He thought i was always obnoxious and always drunk. I said 'fuck you im on vacation'. By the last night he was almost in tears telling me how much he respected me for my writing and speaking ability as well as my ability to have a good time no matter how bad things got. I told him to stop being a bitch and bought him another shot. He slept in the lounge that night.
Well, after 4 days on a boat playing bball and avoiding anything resembling work or thought, I came back and the girl I've been hanging out with actually missed me. The warmth of a 4 day trip to paradise was incomparable to my meltdown when i got back. So i'm a corny fuck sometimes... So is the rest of the world when they're not trying so fucking hard to be hardcore. I've seen the hardest men cry over nothing less than a lot of liquor or a lost girlfriend. We're all just babies man... more on that later.
So now I have a 'main squeeze' or whatever. I've recently learned to enjoy getting back to old school vocab. The new school shit is pretty unimaginitive... I've hung out with her every day since i got back, and had no idea how nice of an ass she had til this weekend. I know it sound ill, but it's really not. I realized on Saturday as she was sitting in my boxers peeling my nasty ass dead skin off my back (i was sunburned), that i hadn't notice how fine she is. Slim, but not TOO slim... not crackhead slim, with thick and firm thies, a couple of silver dollars, smooth skin, nice toes and feet, double jointed fingers with steady drawing hands, a georgeous face, and a mother who happens to be a professional when it comes to braiding.
How the FUCK could i miss all that?? Hung with her for 3 weeks straight without the faintest idea. Then bam... like the sun just rose, I was like 'Oh shit... You're dope!!'..
So I'm falling... slowly.. and my fear that i wouldn't be able to get my mind off my ex is WAY off. She never even crosses anything resembling an inkling of what would look like something that would just happen to cross my mind.
It's also nice that this is the darkest woman I've ever been with. I LOVE dark skin. I envy it. I am a light skinned Mexican. I would kill to have dark skin... Not really.. .I like myself and my skin, but I have a STRONG infatuation with black women and their beautful outer layer.
I have lots more to write, but i'm claiming sickness so i can get outa work... It's too cold to be outside of home today (45 degrees.) My 30GB hard drive crashed.. Completely. to the point of no return. The bios will NOT recognize it. I'm fucked. 5 years worth of work with a year old backup. Maxtor is grinning with it's big cold sector right up my white untanned ass.
Oh.. btw... I have to say this due to truth. Something I can only admit to both of you (all me wonderful readers) who have no fucking clue who i am but know more about me than most, nonetheless. Being with a woman for 5 years has taught me more about myself than anything else. I realized that i didn't really like her that much. Although i DID love her. I just liked learning about me and seeing everyone look at me like "How the fuck did he get HER???" Now I know more of myself and i know how to treat a woman.
If you ARE a georgeous woman with a brain, don't allow yourself to be an armpiece. And you are a man with a georgeous woman, PAY ATTENTION.
I now have perfection, and I haven't faltered once with treatment. I know how to MAKE a woman beautiful wether she belives it or not only be knowing it and beliveing it myself. Your woman RELIES and DEPENDS on your opinion. Not once in a while but EVERY 5 minutes. Not on cornyness. You gotta be cool and sincere. and If you CANT complient your women every 5 minutes of every day (not only verbally of course - compliments work the best with your mouth shut) then you are not being picky enough. an you're wasting her time as well as yours.
But if the sex is good, then at least make sure both of your think so. MY stamina's down after a year trip back towards virginity. (cough cough.. snif..)I'm going to go practice...
Peace and Love...