Fuckin Cold
2004-01-21 5:40 a.m.
What a year it's been thus far... Fucking cold for one. I haven't left my apartment but thrice in the past three weeks. I get a lot of shit -"Ain't you from Chicago?!?!"
"Hell yeah I'm from Chicago!"
"Ain't it cold in Chicago?!!?"
"For one, it's not THIS cold.. besides that fact, why do you think I know better?! If you live in this shit, you know that there's no reason to go out into it. AND most people drive in Chicago."
5 degrees.. sheeeit. The majority of the makeup of the human body is water based. And if it's below the freezing level of water, we don't need to have any part in it. We're just not made that way.
But, all this staying in is paying off... Literally. That big entertainment company I was trying to get work with liked my work so much that they want to put me on a retainer (i.e. pay my bills regularly). My client base is growing, I'm getting more organized, and damnit, I have a motha fuckin business.
No deathmatches with my girl in over a month. She finally saw my point that if you actaully have a reason to complain more than 5 times a day about your living conditiion, then you need to change it. Meanwhile complaining about it all day gives everyone else who lives with you one more thing to complain about. Your whiny ass.
No more whining and nagging. Now, I have an obscene amount of respect for women in general. Overall far stronger than men (emotionally), although not always entirely sane, with good reason. But in my experience, a woman is willing to nag. Not that all women do, but a woman can and will if she get's comfortable enough.
And I figured that that's what goes on in your crazy ass head (come on, you know women think a HELL of a lot more than men). Once you get to know a person enough to open up more, your thought process escapes your skull. All that nagging you do to yourself about your hair, your clothes, your shoes, the mess around the apartment, the girl at work and that damned manager, the guy on the train, and that ugly bitch who was with him, and dont get you started on that one bitch...... It all comes out. Again, not all, although it's held a steady pattern thus far.
And the guy, who doesn't give that much attention to such things, thinks it's insane. Now don't get me wrong, guys do think of these things quite often. Just not repeatedly, and not as thoroughly.
I'm still actively trying to figure out where to go next.. travel and living. I've got an open invitation to the Netherlands and the UK ,which I'm pretty sure I'm going to take up in a few months. I haven't been overseas, but it's been calling me for quite some time. Besides, if our shitty president gets re-elected, I may consider breaking out for a couple years anyways. Nice thing about my job is that I can do it anywhere.
G. was supposed to be getting loot together so we could break out to Colorado for a year and then to Cali for a couple years. But that motha fucker STILL has no job. I'm not givin up on him, but I'm done waitin for him. So now I have to figure out where I want to go.
I'm helping my girl get on her feet and more independent so she can figure out where she wants to go, but I think it's coming to our time to part ways soon. I need to grow more. I need to meet more people and eat smaller portions like the french. A friend mentioned Cost Rica yesterday, while another friend ;) mentioned it a couple months back. Hearing too many good things, although I don't know enough about it yet.
Ah fuck it.. who knows. Keep creating income, so I can invest and not have t oever think about money anymore. I don't want to spoil my kids when they come along, but I wouldn't mind having the option.