Fuck Love
2003-06-01 6:18 p.m.
it's pretty incredible how badly the whole love thing attaches to your stomach... I mean it really grabs hold and wrangles your mid section to death. And then echoes in your head for days afterwards.. twisting your dreams, your thoughts, some conversations... Blech...So, my very good friend, the very beautiful K asked me to watch her graduation which was webcasted just today. Just finished watching it actaully.
Reluctantly I sat through an hour of hopeful speeches, some artistic demonstrations (art school) and 1700 NAMES!! Russel Simmons was there as well, with a pretty poorly thought out speech.. well not that bad, but he could have done better.
So, while the names seemed to mesh together with the occasional joke name standing out like Jack Me hoff and Richard Nixon. I didn't hear K's name which sucks, because I'm really proud of her and wanted to see her walk the stage. Taught her a bit on the decks and in the web biz and love her to death.
Ah well.. so it seemed to near the end the treacherous list of names and i was about to minimize the webcast since i was working as well and it was a bit in the way. All of the sudden, like a smack in the face with a shovel, I heard a VERY familiar name.
Within 3 seconds 4000 thoughts ran through, and it all summed up with a silencing, fuck you - no way. So i stopped my finger (on the minimize button) and there she was. My first true, and just as beautiful. 5 seconds on the screen and my stomach found it's way to my ankles.
I have no way to contact her to congratulate her, and tt's not gonna go away for a while. I mentioned why in the first 30% of this journal.
I love my girl now - dearly. And I always will because, well.. that's how the whole thing works - never conditional.
But all that bullshit they spill about the first never dies and all that...
Fuck em for being right.