Have Faith

2006-12-04 1:11 p.m.
I met a sweet woman yesterday. 29, works in product licensing, gorgeous, sweet, fun, a little too skinny. I�ll be seeing her again this week for some pool. At the end of the night, I texted JT with a silly "Sweet and Cute." Her reply was that I need someone who's challenging, who I can grow with, blah blah. So, mine: "And she has a fantastic ass."

My beloved friend and sister JT has been judging the women I tend to attract rather harshly for years. She�s a judgmental person and I�m used to it, but it hit a nerve this morning. She was sending very long texts on the subject and I decided I wasn�t going to thumb a response. Instead I sent her this, which I think sums up some things nicely both for her and myself.

---

Allow me to tell you why your judgments of the women I involve myself with don't amount to a nickel bag of shit. Besides, of course, the fact that you don't know them.

About two years ago, I introduced you to a beautiful girl who was sweet, a monster in bed, tons of fun and intellectually stimulating to no end. You met her once and the next time I came to see you, I was asked not to bring "That Girl" with me. Which, unlike our smitten sibling, I was fine with.

You dismissed her long before ever allowing a conversation with her.
And last week when I mentioned that we'd never had anything less than incredible conversation involving politics, religion, life, etc, you were apparently surprised. You hadn't considered that maybe her most attractive feature was our long and in-depth conversations on just about every subject.

In fact, I wanted you guys to get to know each other, as in that respect she reminded me a bit of you. But you would never allow it.
Your agism is relentless and the idea of taking a liking to someone out of your age class is somehow beneath you.

Should you wonder where my reborn intellectual curiosity came from, she can be attributed to a good portion of it. Since I've met her, half the books I read are non-technical, I suddenly have a stronger curiosity for the arts and for the opinion of people I don't know � dead or alive. And I continue to 'grow' with her every day, even just as friends.

You were positive that she was wrong for me. Because of age and plenty of other reasons you've boiled based on nothing. Sadly we'd split up because of distance, and I'd earned a distaste for her, not for any reason you would imagine, but actually because she suffers from something you can relate to well: She actually feels that she's somehow 'better' than other people. Mostly due to her intellectual abilities. That, my dear is the biggest turn off I know. In her, in you, and in anyone.

And since your early rejection of a woman who's done more for my growth than any other who I've had a sexual interest in, your opinions gleam of little bearing. They're your own judgments of the world and ideas you've conjured as my own weaknesses without considering what past failures were based on.

The unfortunate end isn't your judgments of them, though. It's your judgments of me, which are completely off base. You have no faith in the fact that I might actually have some idea of what I want, what challenges me and how to handle such a thing.

T, who is in fact a very sweet girl, who I'd grown to be attracted to, is an incredible woman. It's my humble opinion that if she ever figures shit out, she could easily become one of the greatest artists of our time.

Unfortunately, such a thing doesn't require sanity. Worse, it probably requires a morose naivety, which she holds onto dearly. I was with her to grow creatively, and unfortunately she lost herself within me, and hence we both lost.

But don't mistake a long relationship with little growth as a complete lack of potential. It was a bad time for all parties concerned. Bad enough that she may never recover. Fortunately I have.

I need you to have a bit more faith in my instincts. I'm not as blind as you think, but rather, I believe I may see people more clearly than most. When everyone is completely full of shit � especially intellectuals, the next best option is potential, and I see potential in people like most people see nice clothing and shiny jewelry.

I know you're looking out for me and I appreciate it, but you're over extending judgments on to people who don't deserve them. M may be a very smart woman. OR she might just be fun. Hopefully she's both. But I don't dive into long, drawn out discussions about life, death and the pursuit of happiness in the first hour I meet someone.
First I want to know if the person has a sense of humor. Being with an asshole like me requires it.

And it's probably not going to work with M. I'd known this long before your tirade about how she's wrong for me. She's actually too 'good' of a person for me. No smoking, no drinking, etc. She has no judgments of me for being the vice-driven brute that I can be, but we may find a disconnect there at some point. At any rate, I'm still just getting to know her, and again, I'd appreciate a little more faith.

Love you dear and I'll talk to you soon.

Mark