Lost and Fond
2005-08-11 5:09 a.m.
Such an odd and unexpected turn of events this evening�As I mentioned I ended up in quite a few conversations in the past couple days. I provoked a couple, but the majority of them came to me, and with incredibly good timing I might add.
I keep my numbers forever. I almost never delete a number. It takes forever for me to find a number on my phone, but when just about anyone I�ve spoken to at least once calls, I have a name pop up immediately. Now, I know� numbers change and whatnot. I don�t keep it for the numbers. It�s the names. Each name holds hundreds of stories and memories and situations that keep me moving.
So the reminiscent scent was in the air and I was in a pretty good mood. I started flipping through my list, checking names on friendster and google and whatnot. Generally, if you get anything, it�ll be some organization they were a part of years ago with a horrible web site, or some fund they donated to or some miscellaneous post in some miscellaneous forum about some miscellaneous shit.
And while scrolling my phone, a name caught my attention. It�s an unusual name. I met SM when I was turning tables at the poetry sessions in Chicago in 97 or 98. Those sessions were a pretty big deal. The finest hip hop and writing community I�d ever witnessed, and I was proud to be a part of it. They were the reason to write and the reason to do what you did in hip hop.
Most everyone there was an interesting and inspired writer (say� 30 regulars... who usually brought friends time and time again � to soon add to the regular pool). And besides being writers and a great crowd to write for, they were all hip hop contributors and artists. Graff artists, MCs, DJs, BBBoys, Beat Boxers, Jazz players, Singers, Dancers, etc.
Some of the biggest names in the hip hop underground of the time (and some til this day) had shown face at least once or twice�
And whenever one of us threw or promoted a party, you could expect half the regulars to show support. I never got really tight with many of them. As social as I seem at times, I keep a pretty tight crowd of my own. But the faces and names were always so welcoming. Their writing made mine better. I�d rarely had full conversations with very many of them without a mic in front of me (or my decks, but that�s a different conversation entirely). But every time we�d seen each other at a party or on the street, it was all hugs and love.
So I ran into SM at some party and somehow we eventually started hanging out. I�d always thought she was mad cute and seemed really chill so I was excited to finally get to know her better. I mean I had a girl at the time, so I wasn�t pursuing... just glad to be better friends. After a week, her best friend hooked up with my roommate so they had more reason to come more often.
After a couple months of partying at my place and what not, things grew apart. SM was working on her own things and dealing with her boyfriend, so her visits became spares. My roommate split up with ol� girl. My relationship was back on track. There always seemed to be a hint of mutual attraction, but we never pursued, and I�m glad we didn�t.
So when I scrolled to her name, I HAD to give it a shot. Sheeit, it�d been 7 years and everything left off so abruptly, I couldn�t even guess what she might be up to. Friendster� nada. Google� Her name popped up instantly. I scrolled down to find a decent site, and she had quite a few sites pointing to her� then I started noticing the names...
What the fuck?!! How could sweet lil SM have porn related sites with her name on them. Her name�s unusual, so there was a good chance it COULD be her. I started clicking around. I was relieved to find no nudity, not that it would have mattered as for my respect for her� but I hate to see a good woman sell herself as such, at least without damned good personal reason.
Nope... they all pointed to fitness sites� It turned out the sweet lil dancer / poet with the pigtails had won a few fitness competitions. Then I ran across a really surprising pic. Still no nudity, but� well� damn. The face seemed right, though very made up. The body� and the pose� and as a pic available to the planet� unexpected.
After a bit more clicking around, and a couple attempts at good ol �View Source�, I found an email address. It was a yahoo account. The worst that could happen?! Some spammer is showing off her pic and as soon as her email address gets something, the sender is immediately bombarded with 500,000 ads for bigger dicks for 35 hours with lipo suctioned Double D breasts and strange women offering all the pleasure one could ever want with every farm animal Ol� MacDonald every encountered�
But I had to know what the deal was. I hit my old roommate up with the pic. �Man, I�m not sure... is this SM!?!?� No chance of a quick reply as he doesn�t have internet access anymore. Fuck it�
I put out an apologetic email, explaining the deal, giving some reminiscent facts to prove I wasn�t some weirdo and basically let it go from there. By the next morning I was still curious, but pretty much forgot about the email. Went on with my work day as usual.
By 4 pm, my phone rang. Completely foreign number with a completely foreign area code. I tend not to answer such calls, but I had a browser open. Googled the area code� Nope, nobody pissed at me there� Fuck it� �Hello?�
By that evening we were on Melrose Place eating at a dope lil Argentinian spot. Incredible Salmon and Swordfish considering the whole dinner was like $30. It turns out she moved to LA with her girl (from before) about 8 months ago�
We sat for a while and caught up.. relating stories of mutual friends, and our own histories and whatnot. It�s always so hard to catch up on such large spans of time. We stopped at her old job to see her roommate. We stopped at her place so she could show me the pics from her fitness career and play the album her and her group put out, and tell me about the nonprofit she�s starting and show me some of the crazy before / after pics from the makeup and hair when competing, and pics form the last 4 cities she�s lived in. I felt so unaccomplished, but so proud and happy for her.
I was especially happy that she didn�t look like the chick in the photos. I mean the chick in the photos was gorgeous� magazine gorgeous. But so unattractive (mind you, most would disagree, but I have very specific tastes for only the finest quality � and it generally has nothing to do with what you�ll see on the cover of a magazine). She was good ol, sweet lil SM� only now with a bit of a Southern Twang on top of her Chicago accent.
My week�s been made. It�s so great to have an old friend back. And it�s so great to finally have a couple Spades partners from ChiRock.
SM had to get up for work at 4am, so I excused myself and head back towards the ocean, running the forgotten stories she�d recounted through my head. Like back when I was dating S, the attention whore with the hairy back who thought she was god�s gift to the dance floor� and well� really wasn�t� and some of the parties and party clicks and whatnot� Ah, such a comfortable haze of recollection.
I got home and G told me he�s leaving in a couple days...