Stood Up
2006-10-29 10:27 a.m.
All in for 3 weeks, you've made your money. I even got in on my bet. Ok, not specifically. It's not quite over yet, and if I've my way, this will prolong indefinitely and then all bets are off. Ok, that's overstated. But come on, at least a little longer. Let me actually fuck it up and not just be left to linger sans reason. Rewind a bit...Last minute shit. I bought a ticket yesterday afternoon to get to venice to ship my shit. I'm done letting people figure shit out. Gonna pack up my shit, ship it, sell what I don't ship and talk to the landlord. I don't have the money to cover shit, but I can talk a good game and a personal presence is far more effective than a phone conversation.
So, I grabbed a ticket and a rental. Called SS for a key. Called NE to share a bottle. Called my client to let them know I'm in transit. Called BB to cancel Saturday night but open up Saturday morning.
She found out she passed the bar yesterday, which is incredible, though far from unexpected. I'm excited and happy for her. I wanted to buy her dinner to celebrate but she was celebrating with her girl (who also passed).
Fuck it, RB had a joint with old coworkers. Called TBX for a couple while waiting for RB. Got the fuck out of my apartment and striaght to the bar. 2 hours later TBX calls, finally leaving, which was fucked up but I was drunk so fuck it.
We met up with N who was at a birthday gathering with 8 chicas. They cleared out and N sat staring at the beer I bought her. RB texted from a few blocks away.
"Alright, I think it's time to go."
"Wait, I'm not done with my beer"
She was about 3 sips in and taking her TIME.
Hmm... "Ok, take your time."
She got up to go to the bathroom. I emptied everything but that last swig. She returns, slams it without noticing and we were off.
We go to the next spot to meet up with RB. We get there and 2 absolutely gorgeous women introduce themsleves. The were RB's ex-coworkers. We converse over a smoke and head in for a drink. I stay up front to talk to the bartender for a bit, as the first move in claiming domain in a bar is to be in with those serving the booze.
Solidified a relationship and moved upstairs to see where everyone went. N. was passed out. I looked over to TBX, RB and his girl. RB had his usual not-my-business demeanor. TBX was laughing and carrying on. She was fucked up and she fell asleep. Not necessarily a cute nap either. She wasn't snoring, but she might as well have been. Drool would have been fitting as well.
RB's colleagues giggled a bit and queried
"Is that girl ok?"
I look to TBX and he was still in slap-my-boy's-back-and-giggle-mode. I shook my head and stepped forward.
"Of course she's ok. Her best friend's birthday party just ended and she's been working all day!! Regardless, what I know for a fact is that she doesn't need this much attention right now."
The girls agreed, attention diverted. I went to my newly befriended bartender and grabbed some water. Brought it by N and went for a smoke. I got back and was finally able to wake her.
"N, you ok? here, have some water..."
"what the -" looks around proudly - hiding embarassment.
"Nobody's even noticed - you're all good. Have some water. Let's get you in a cab"
Here's what I know. When I brought BB out, everybody was too clicky and cool to open conversation. When these people bring significant others, I do my very best to make them feel a part of the group. She wasn't specifically excluded, but definitely not included by anyone other than myself.
When I stepped to the bathroom, N inturrupted her own conversation and came by to sit with BB. Mind you BB's not shy, so it's not like this was a difficult thing to do. Later that evening she helped us get into the club when they weren't letting anyone else in. Far as I'm concerned, she's good people.
I thew my jacket over her shoulders and we exited to Ave A. Holding the umbrella over her drunk ass while soaking my new shirt. Got her in a cab, strolled back and snapped on TBX. I hate repremanding people. Especially grown men, but fuck that...
"What the fuck T???"
(jokingly) "Yo fuck that bitch, she's fine"
"What are you 12?! I'm sorry man, I don't give a fuck how much pride is involved, women generally have lower tolerances. If it were 5 of us at your place that's one thing - have a ball at her expense, but you have fucking strangers here, clowning this girl and fuck you for letting them. That's your girl, you hold it the fuck down!! What the fuck am I holding her down for??? I met her last week!!! It's bullshit, it's fucked up and you need to grow the fuck up."
I looked up figuring this wasn't going over well. B and E were nodding thier heads in agreement and RB stayed out of it as usual.
He had little to say. He gave it a minute and then raised his glass to show understanding and truce. And that's fine. But the kid's gotta figure some shit out. She might talk mad shit, but at the end of the day you don't let your girl sit there all fuckeed up while people clown her. She was good to BB and me last I met her and that's enough for me to do what i can, this motha fucker's known her for years.
So, whatever. Strolled in at about 6am, got out of my wet gear and passed the fuck out. Got up at about 1030, showered up called a couple numbers in the phone I found in my jacket and found the owner, who happened to live around BB's.
BB had shit to do, but I'd earlier convinced her to make it out an hour early since I wouldn't be back til Wednesday. She agreed and all was well, warning of a hangover.
And sure.. she might have a solid hangover. Maybe her phone's off. Maybe she's still out for the night before!! shit, she just passed the bar, she should be fucked up all weekend. By all means.
Anyways, I showed at noon-thirty and sat around til one-thirty in hopes of seeing her, even for five minutes to say bid farewell.
Nothin. I called like 4 times. Oddly enough, the time I spent sitting there was incredible. Just an absolutely beautiful day, all kinds of attention from the beautiful NY women in passing. Just coolin out, bumpin the roots and enjoying my iced coffee. It was likely the nicest day NY will see until spring, and my mood was impenetrable.
"Hey, I'm beginning to feel like a pest, but you are, in fact, standing me up. Which is unfortunate - especially today as it's such an amazing day!! Anyways, I hope to hear from you soon."
Suddenly a crazy downpour. Everyone on the corner yelled and laughed and ducked under canopy's. I was nice and dry sitting under a canopy watching the beautiful day wash away...
"Alight, well it seems the good day is washing away. and I'm afraid I must bid farewell. This is my fourth message, and I could leave 5 more, but I guess a hint must be recognized eventually. I hope all is well and I hope you finish everything need to finish this weekend. More than anything I hope to talk to you when I return."
And that's it. I'm pretty sure I tried too hard. Not that I got wierd. Just called or texted about once a day and was completely honest at all times, as usual. I just don't play the fucking games. I've no idea or intention of knowing how often I'm supposed to call a girl I like or how much time should be left in-between points of contact. Fuck that. I'm into you. I want to see you and so I'll try to do just that.
I guess I can be off-putting. More than anything, I know it's bullshit. I'm not just a good catch, I'm a god damned whale. The world is my pearl and fuck anyone who feels they'll do better.
And that's it. She's amazing and I'm enamoured with her, and I'll give and take another shot. But right this second. I'm drunk on a 6 hour flight to LAX to share a bottle with my brother and get the rest of my shit. Some cute but confused chick who've i've treated as nothing less than royalty can kiss my ass if she's incapable of knowing what she had.
And sure. maybe she's just hungover and her battery's dead. But that's on her to figure out and clear up. She's got a volume of voicemails, pleasantly and hopefully asking for a moment of attention. no burns - no games - no bullshit. Calm, patient, sweet messages boiled in a brew of hope that she might return the call.
Got off the plane, grabbed a rental, a pizza, a couple beers, sat with NE for a bit, ranted and knocked out.
Kind of a melencholy mood today. Sad about not hearing from BB. Sad about packing shit up. Sad about closing a strange and rather uneventful chapter on the west coast. Happy about the new one I'm starting, but I'm not quite on that page just yet.
My good friend TM (S) from Chicago was known to shake his hands in the air with complete dismissal and preach "Everything's Waaaack."
And in direct contrast, As BB would say after a long, full and fast rant "It's fine. I'm fine. Everything's fine."