Trading Up
2008-01-14 1:42 a.m.
So, today's issue revolves around the recent conversation..."I woke up and you weren't here."
"Yeah, I went to get some cigarettes."
- sad face -
"Look, I told you, if I leave the neighborhood, I'll say something, but, come on - I went to get smokes"
"I had a bad dream that you were 'Trading Up' with some New York rich girl" (the name of some book she's been reading)
"You know, I didn't say shit when I saw you reading that trash, you're welcome to imbibe whatever the fuck you want - but now you're going to throw that bullshit in my face?! Fuck that book. Fuck the entire concept of 'trading up.' And unless you're referring to a discounted 3-pack of parliaments, fuck your assertion that a trip to the corner store means I'm on some bullshit."
I stopped myself from turning things into things that can't be easily turned back.
"I suggest you go back to bed."
As I write this I have to wonder to myself if putting this shit here doesn't begin to spell out the foreshadowing to the final act. But I know if I bring this shit up with Some of my guy friends, I'll get such-and-such about compromises, which I understand perfectly well - too well, and the other group are far too interested in proving their manhood by downplaying the concerns of women to be taken seriously. And when asking my female friends, it's usually a balance of understanding, twisted feminism and what happens on the oxygen network. In the end, very few offer the advice that makes sense to me. That which includes an understanding both of the situation and of the principles I hold that make the situation relatively serious. Mistrust is un-fucking-acceptable. For anyone. I don't offer it or accept it without weighted concern.
Still waiting to see what happens, I suppose. It doesn't help that she's amazing, otherwise.