Christmas 2002

2002-12-26 2:00 a.m.
So for starters, Merry fucking whatever the hell you celebrate this time of year.

As a forewarning I�ve been stuffed and drunk for 2 days straight now, so expect utter incoherence. For those keeping score, Etta James is in the speakers. Friend had put me on the other day, and I am impressed. Gonna have to play it for that friend on the day she told me she wants to hear it eventually�

So the plan for Christmas was to visit M for the weekend and then head to Chicago for a week. Then head to New York in time for New Years. (Original plan was to visit N, but N is out of town for a while)

So to start, I went to the last company on the planet that is willing to give me credit, and got my self a decent laptop. I plan on making some serious moves this year, and getting some work done during this trip is a part of that�

So Day one, I get my laptop in the mail.. happy happy joy joy. My girl isn�t taking the whole moving to Chicago idea very well so day one is consumed by arguments, talking and comforting. So much so that I didn�t even get my laundry done for the trip� At least I got exhausted early and therefore slept early and therefore woke up with plenty of time to get to the airport.

Get to the airport, security check, quick and easy, short wait and on the plane I go. I was a lil pissed about the seating arrangement. You see, I�m 6�6� and I was to sit in the middle of the middle row (3 seats). Since it was American, I can actually fit there, but still not all that well.

So I find my seat, and I find to my right a super conservative Jew. He�s reading two huge texts (referencing them both at once) written in Hebrew / Aramaic. Well at least he�ll probably be quiet for the flight. While putting my jacket in the overhead, I caught the eye of a super cute blond chick.

Now I�m not really a big fan of blond girls. My experience with them hasn�t been all that, and besides I like my women to have a bit of flavor to them. In every way in which that statement can apply. But this lil cutie definitely caught my attention. All natural, very cute, amazing eyes� returned the smile and sat down. Play it cool.. let it ride.

So I settle in, get into my geek mag and start reading about human cloning in China. I get a couple paragraphs in and notice the seat to my left is being filled. About to size them up in preparation for my 6 hours stuffed in a seat, when� That beautiful smile I just returned a couple minutes prior is sitting to my left. Interesting�

Not that I feel im in some great position to run game or anything. I�m not one to run game after all. And besides most people like to be left alone on planes (me included for the most part). So I get back to Chinese cloning. After 5 minutes� people are still boarding. An argument between blue eyes and mr conservative erupts about Trent Lott.

What the FUCK!?! And these two are getting loud. I have been caught in the middle of fire and ice with strong political views, and im going to be in this position for 6 hours. How heated an argument?! Well the surrounding rows of people are listening with their eyes� So after a couple of minutes of this back of forth bullshit, I had to intervene.

I mentioned the great points both sides were making, but it�s all a matter of interpretation and they can argue for days, but won�t have a full out resolution, and it hardly matters. I was ready to catch a serious lashing for my retort.

We�ll skip the intermediary bullshit and jump to 10 minutes after being airborne. To my right, we have mr. conservative telling me extraordinarily corny jokes and reciting lines from george carlin (who I love as a comedian, but his jokes are best told by himself). To my left, I have a beautiful woman with her head on my shoulder watching training Day with me on my laptop. By far the best 6 hour flight I�ve ever been on.

By the end of the flight, I�m shaking hands with Mr Conservative, I have ol� girls number and we�re getting ready to hang out back in New York in a couple weeks. Happy Man I am.

So I�m getting off the plane in a fantastic mood.

Missed my connecting flight.

Next flight is 24 hours away.

FUCK!!!

So as I prepare to crash for a full day at LAX, I call my friend in reno and tell her not to pick me up for another 24. She�s not having it, she calls another airlines (im broke, btw) and gets me a flight that�s only 12 hours away. What a sweetheart. I call everyone I know on the west coast, and everyone is unreachable or 8 hours away. (LA and the bay area always seemed so much closer to me)

So I have to sleep at LAX for only 12 hours.. which sucks, but not as bad as a full 24. I have a couple shots, watch a couple more DVD�s pass out on and off� and well.. it was a looong night, and it sucked, but 7 am came and I was on my way to reno.

The weekend was fantastic. I will NOT go into detail, but I WILL say that it was perfect. Back rubs, foot rubs, other rubs� Given and received. Yo� Yoooooo�. It was dope. Both parties were truly exhausted and happy. Lots of drinking and pool playing and talking and whatever else makes for a great weekend.

So she takes me to the airport on Monday. Get to the plane and go through security no problem.

On my way to Chi Town�.

Had a layover in Dallas.

Storms all over Texas.

Had to land in San Antonio, cool out on the runway for 90 minutes then head to Dallas.

Missed my flight and yes.. another 12 hours in a damned airport.

Rode the terminal train for a while, watched reservoir dogs and then fight club with writer�s commentary. Chilled on the skywalk and introduced myself to some guy as luke. No I�m not a star wars geek, but after 6 hours in an airport, who really gives a shit.

So I get here, I can�t get sleep for shit as it�s xmas eve. I catch about five � hour naps in cars and on couches.. then on to the drinking and eating. It�s great to have a polish family and a Mexican family. So much damned good food.

Then today. More drinks and food. Whole family (both sides) trying to convince me to move back to Chicago. And I know the rest of the week is going to be the same from friends. Hooking up with 3 old um� friends.. and tons of old homies� I�m mad excited and stuffed and drunk and exhausted and im gonna crash.

So um, happy holidays and the next time you have a drink, clink your glass to something and have one for me. I�ll have one for you as well. And if you�re lonely during the season, get in touch with me and I�ll share a drink or seven with you�

Peace, Love and Guinness�

Lots and Lots of Guinness.